The One Quality I Lack… And Need


My family is going through a time of change at the moment—lots of new and exciting things going on, just as Matt and I are coming up on our five year anniversary tomorrow. (Five years is, like, legit marriage, I think. I feel old.)

Most importantly, Matt is starting a new job. After seven years as a lawyer, he’s leaving to join a start-up. There are lots of unknowns, but he is a smartie and has surrounded himself with smart people. He’s brave. I’m proud, and impressed.

I know plenty of people hate change, or are scared of it, but I love it. I get antsy and bored when things stay the same for too long. Who wants same-old routine when you can have something new and different. I often need a shot of change as a jump-start, to get the spring back in my step.

But! There’s always that moment right on the cusp of change that involves so. much. waiting. There’s a lot of wondering and hoping and predicting… and not a lot of knowing. What will our new normal look like? When will we have a sense of our new routine? What will our life look like in six months? A year? Five years??

Have you ever found yourself thinking “years from now I will look back at this very moment and think, ‘that’s when everything changed”? That’s how I’ve been feeling every day for the last two weeks.

And so…. I need to learn patience. It’s never ever ever been my strong suit. I’m the girl who snuck into the basement every year to check out her Hanukkah presents weeks in advance. (Sorry, mom.) And right now I’d  like to do that same thing—get a quick sneak peek of what’s to come, then wrap it back up and wait for the big reveal. Turns out, life doesn’t work that way. (Who knew?)

So for now, I’m going about my days, trying to keep busy and distracted. But I’d do well to learn some good tricks for building better patience.

What’s your best trick for being patient, and staying calm in times of change?


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7 responses to “The One Quality I Lack… And Need

  1. Documenting the journey each day and being grateful for all the new experiences is a good way to stay patient. Enjoy!

  2. Rachel Machacek

    I’ve been experiencing the SAME EXACT THING right now (getting married in a month). I keep thinking how this is the time i’m going to remember most years from now—the way the sunlight is coming through the windows and how life smells and the air feels. It’s so lovely yet I’m so impatient too. I’ve been doing a LOT of breathing exercises and a lot of random yoga bc I can’t sit still. My co-workers think I’m nuts. I make a lot of lists, too. Do these things help? Sometimes. 🙂 Enjoy the change girl–and congrats on your new book! It’s on my list!

  3. I once saw a documentary about a woman who said, Celebrate uncertainty!
    And so, whenever I’m in the midst of something uncomfortable, I find those words comforting.

  4. Cara

    You are definitely not alone in this type of situation. My husband and I celebrated our 5-year wedding anniversary in May – 6 weeks after he was laid off. Since then it has been an ongoing discussion of whether he wants to join another firm or start his own practice. He’s been gathering clients on his own and doing consulting for other groups, but there has been a lot of uncertainty about what he wants to do and whether we should even stay in the city.

    I don’t function well with uncertainty and found the first couple of months really hard. I just wanted to figure out what this new life was going to look like and get there ASAP. What has helped me during this in-between period was to realize that this WAS the new normal. Until things settled down, this was what life was going to look like. So I created my own normal that included that uncertainty.

    Things change so quickly that sometimes you have to create your own sense of normal life within whatever is thrown at you in order to maintain sanity. I hope it’s gotten better for you – that unsettled feeling really sucks and I hope you’ve found a way to keep calm and rock on. 🙂

  5. I try to keep busy. Whatever you’re impatient about, you’ll no doubt continue thinking about it while you’re waiting (whether we’re talking minutes/days/years/etc). For me, I just make sure I’m not sitting around and thinking about it…but more running around and thinking about it!

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