I’m very excited today because tomorrow is my brother’s wedding. I know I’ve often said that siblings can’t be best friends, but if they could he would be mine. We’ve always been close–you know, minus the years he beat me up and made me cry–so I can’t wait to celebrate him all weekend.
See this pic? Pals since we were mini-people.
You tell me: Do you think siblings can be best friends? Or are the two roles totally different?
MWF Seeking BFF 
I think you CAN be best friends, but it’s a delicate line. My brother is one of my closest friends but my sister and I are so far apart that being siblings is almost the only thing tying us together…
It’s different for everyone, and varies drastically depending on the amount of effort expended on both ends. Some people spend their entire lives WISHING they were best friends with their siblings, but they never actually took action.
Personally, I am so blessed to have my sister. I often think that, if we weren’t sisters, we would never be friends. And I would miss the time I spend with her.
At the same time, I also recently recognized that it’s difficult for us to be friends because I pursue friendship over sistership with her. I’m currently trying to be a sister first, and a friend second. Also, it annoys her that I act like a mother (I’m the older sister). I admit it’s a bad habit of mine built up after an entire childhood with my parents absent all the time.
Like so much else in life, there’s more choice in this than one might choose to believe.
You and your brother are such adorable mini-people!!! I think it’s easier to be best friends with your sibling because we (should) accept more faults and problems within our family. I have always felt that no matter what happens, I can count on my sister. We have always had different personalities and pursuits. Growing up we gave each other plenty of trouble including actual scars from scratching (guilty me) and pretending each other didn’t exist. Yet, there is a tie that always brought us together. And, now that we’re in our 40’s, we appreciate our differences and truly admire and love each other.
Although we might be fortunate enough to have many friends in our lives, there are very few people we can call real best friends. I have 3: my husband, my sister and my non-related but like-a-sister best friend from college.
Congratulations! That picture is the best!! Hope you’re having a good summer. Hi to Matt JDebbi Coran
My Dad always told me and my sister that we were supposed to be best friends. We’re supposed to he best friends because we’re sisters and one day we’ll each be all the other has. He said this over and over and over.
I love my sister because she’s my sister and you have to love your family. But there’s no rule that says you have to like them, and my sister and I don’t really like each other. I’ve spent the last 26 years trying to be best friends with someone I don’t especially like who doesn’t especially like me. It’s been pretty miserable for both of us.
We are incredibly different; too different, it seems, to ever really be close. We can get along when we have to, like when we’re at family events, but beyond that we don’t talk much and it’s best that way. Anything more than a superficial conversation inevitably ends in a screaming match.
I know people who are close to their siblings, so I guess it’s possible, but that’s never going to happen for me and my sister. But finally admitting to ourselves, each other, and our parents that we’re just not ever going to be best friends despite what our Dad has told us our entire lives has taken a lot of the pressure off. I no longer have to feel like a failure or beat myself up or feel guilty or feel like I’m letting everyone down because I can’t make my sister be my best friend. Obviously my parents wish we were closer, but after 26 years of drama, I think everyone’s ready to accept that it is what it is.
My sister is my closest friend and confidant besides my husband. We fought a lot as children, but after my parents divorce we really leaned on each other. Rachel–you and I actually went to HS together–I’m older than you by a year and my sister is older still and we are very different, but besides my husband my sister is the most important person in my life. I am very close to my entire immediate family, but my sister talk 4-5 times a week and we know each other inside and out. We are still very different, but that’s what makes it work. I got to grow up with her and hopefully grow old with her. Maybe we both appreciate each other so much because my parents each have lost a sibling, as has my step-mom and I always know that her presence in my life is a gift. I know that not everyone has this relationship, but I am determined to have more than one child to hopefully give my child the same gift.
Want to express the opinion of someone who does feel like her sister is her best friend, even though I have some other incredibly wonderful and old friends in my life.
ps…Rachel, so happy for you. Congrats on the success. Callie and I were friends in Volleyball. Tell her I say hello!
I do think it is possible, but it is definitely not always the case. I believe how far apart in age you are with your siblings can affect how close you become. My sister is 5 years younger, and we didn’t do much but fight growing up. We are getting closer now, but I still wouldn’t say that she is a best friend.
BUT I have seen some of my friends become incredibly close with their siblings. So I guess it’s possible.
I count my sister among my best friends, but then again, since she is 23 years older than I, and never lived with me, it is not quite the same. Also, she is my half-sister. She can make me laugh like no one else can, though, and I know she’s not going anywhere.
I have never been close with my sister. We are just enough alike and very different to always be on each other’s nerves! We live in different states and that keeps the peace. We have grown closer since she got married (I’m 6 years older and have been married awhile) and last year we had babies two months apart (her first, my second.) We each have strong best friend relationships with our nonfamilial sisters!
Which leads me to another thought. My Bestie and I call each other sisters. But that gives outsiders the impression you’re related and not chosen besties. There just isn’t a word to describe best friends of the tightest order!
I have identical twin boys. Granted, they are only 16 months old, but they are definitely BEST FRIENDS. It’s fun to watch and something I can’t comprehend, since I’m not a twin myself. I do love my sisters now that I am an adult, and would probably call my sister my best friend, but wouldn’t have said that as an adolescent.
By the way, just started your book and am loving my signed copy, thanks to Aaron Hosmon. I recommended it on my blog today.
My brother and I are very close. I would say that we are as close to best friends as a brother and sister can get. But we actively disliked each other when we were young. He once famously pushed me so hard that he knocked me out in the bath. That was one of the low points. There is no hard and fast rule. Some siblings will be friends, others simply won’t.
Hi Rachel.
I do think siblings can be best friends, at times. I mean, what attributes do best friends have that siblings don’t? Best friends share jokes; laugh with and at each other; hold each other through rough times and all of that… My sisters can do all of these. I don’t have any best friend, but I tell them everything I would have ordinarily told my best friend..
Though, I am not really the ‘BFF’ kinda person, I think I know what its all about, and the kinda comfort and togetherness such relationship breeds; and I think in most cases, siblings give this much and even more..
On a lighter note, ‘m happy for your brother.
My warmest regards to him, and his wife (or wife- to- be)
Cheerios. 🙂
I have one sister and one step sister and I would definitely consider them both to be among my best friends. My step sister (of course I don’t think of her like that!) is a year older thank me and very different to me and my little sister is 5 years younger and I adore both of them. The added bonus of having family as best friends is that I know for certain that I will be close to them for my entire life and that they will always be there for me and vice versa.