It’s been a while since I wrote a post that speaks to the origins of this blog. After BFF searching for more than two years, I’ve been lucky enough to make a lot of new friends. A life that was once filled with wine-sipping TV-watching solo evenings is now filled with wine-sipping TV watching friend evenings! It’s an ongoing effort, finding Your Person, but I feel like my journey thus far has been a success.
Still, now that I’ve become accustomed to hitting on ladies, or throwing myself at them if the friendship potential dictates, I can’t stop. I continue to meet and pursue new pals, never knowing where the next Callie or Sara might emerge. So I thought I’d take today’s post to update you on some of my new, post-2010 pals. For all of you on your own BFF search and looking for inspiration, here’s how I met the latest additions to my roster. [Names changed to protect the innocent.]
Michael: My newest man friend. If the question is “can men and women be just friends,” the answer is apparently yes. We are great buds. We met at the gym where I was working a couple of shifts a week, and, though I thought he was intimidating at first, eventually started chatting whenever I was in. He’s a single guy, I’m a married girl, so I became a go-to for dating and girl advice. We don’t hang out a ton outside the gym, but the friendship has graduated to phone chats.
Gabby: Stay with me here: Gabby’s boyfriend’s mom is one of my mom’s new BFFs. Got that? As some of you might remember from MWF Seeking BFF, my mom was on a BFF search of her own during my year of friending. She found a winner in a woman who moved into her building that year. One night, my mom and I went to dinner with Janie and her son’s girlfriend. After that night, the two younger ladies made a dinner date for just us. The rest is history. Now we’re fast friends.
Missy: Like so many couples, we met at a wedding. After hanging out plenty over the weekend (this was a destination affair), we got together for study dates upon our return to Chicago. The fact that we both work from home helps. We haven’t spent as much time together as I would likd, but considering she is in the midst of planning a wedding and prepping for a new baby, she’s a bit busy. Still, there’s a future there.
Molly (real name): Blogger friends! Molly is a fellow author and we are in the Class of 2012 together over at The Debutante Ball, a blog for debut authors. There are only five authors per class, but luckily enough the two of us are both in Chicago. Which means we’re not only Internet friends, but now real-life friends. It’s great to have a fellow author friend to talk shop with–especially since we’re both so new at it–and Molly’s also a writing teacher, so she’s kinda brilliant. Also, you should all read her YA book The Princesses of Iowa.
McKayla: Another fellow writer. This one of the freelance variety. We met through some mutual friends and had a few dinner dates. But our real friendship has blossomed as work-from-home buddies. We meet at a local cafe once a week or so to do our solitary work with some company. We bounce ideas off each other, share editorial contacts. She’s the closest thing I have right now to a coworker. Oh, and I introduced her to my gym and part-time job, and she got one too! So we’re kinda the same person. It’s awesome.
Kerri: A friend of a friend, now just a friend. My wonderful new pal Jackie brought Kerri into our new(ish) cooking club, which is now not a cooking club at all but a group of friends, about a year ago. She’s fantastic, and of course fit right in. Now she’s an integral member of the gang. I’ve talked here about it can be tough to bring someone new into a group, but not Kerri.
So that’s it — friends of friends, work pals… looking back I guess we met the usual ways, but it’s fun to see how they’ve evolved. How did you meet your most recent new friend?
MWF Seeking BFF 
I had purchased and devoured your book, ready to embark on my own friend search and dating debut, but was stumped as how to do that in a small town (not a lot of action!) Then along came the new Baptist pastor and his fabulous wife. My husband (the Methodist pastor) and I baked some muffins and took them over, and the rest is now happily being written in friend dating history! We hung out twice, I loaned her your book, and have committed to amping our relationship up because we clicked so perfectly. We now meet 5 days a week to walk in the mornings, share a devotional time, and are planning at least once a week to get together to re-watch Gilmore Girls! Thank you for the inspiration to not be afraid to step out and say that you need a friend. It has paid off big time for this once lonely city girl trying to make a new life in a small town.
I’ve met lots of women at my kids’ daycare, but had a tough time turning them into friends until I signed up to do a 5k with some of them. We now meet once a week to walk/run and have gotten to know one another a lot better. In just a month or so, we’ve already met up for Zumba, spinning, and some of us signed up for another race once the 5k is over. It’s been slow to turn into much more than fitness-related pursuits, but since we talk a lot when we’re together, the meetups have been satisfying my needs for both friendship and exercise.
For the last friend you mentioned, I have a question. How do you know when a friend is just a friend and not a friend of a friend? I recently met two friends through a friend because they go to the same school as her (I go to a different school). I like them sincerely for who they are, not just because they are her friends. However, I am hesitant to push to be friends with them because I don’t want my original friend who introduced me to them to feel like I’m “stealing” her friends. What’s the solution here?
Fab blog, btw. I rarely subscribe unless it’s worth my time. 🙂
Thanks for the kind words! I feel like Kerri and I are friends because I feel totally comfortable emailing or texting her individually, or getting together just us when the situation arises. Since Jackie brought her into the group, I figured she was ok with her being friends with everyone on their own. I’ve found that more often than not the mutual friend is perfectly happy for everyone to be pals. The worry of “stealing” is more often in the mind of the potential “stealer.”
That makes sense. Thanks for replying.
In my case, my mutual friend seemed jealous about the two of becoming friends. But she was also happy for us. So… I guess she felt left out, which made me feel guilty.
This summer, I’ve been reflecting on my current friendships and how I first met those friends. I’ve written a series of posts on my own blog, http://www.desertjuniper.blogspot.com, called (originally) Friendship Series.
Rachel,
I’m just at the point of giving up with friends from work. They think that because we have a relationship outside of work they can ask special favors from me. Then when I don’t comply, they become rude and unprofessional, and our friendship is lost. It’s happening for the second time right now, and I think I’m done with it. Any suggestions?
Rachel, I find your writing and story telling to be very interesting, and have come enjoy spending a few moments reading about what is on your mind. Thanks, Bill
I, unfortunately, am not having the same level of success you had. I took some of your suggestions & found there was only 1 other person registered in Edmonton & this person had joined 2 years ago & not been heard from since. But I am ever hopeful!