Today I’m getting my Thelma and Louise on. Well, if Thelma and Louise had five other cohorts and the story ended a bit differently.
The point is, I’m going on a road trip.
The cooking club ladies (who really should get a new name because we never cook anymore) are taking a weekend trip to Northern Michigan, where one of the girls’ parents have a home. It’s a six-hour drive, and we’ve prepped with lots of chips and music and back-and-forth emails about where we’ll stop along the way. Then, once we get there, it will be a weekend of wine, board games, pizza and late-night pillow talk.
It’s pretty hard for me to believe that at this time two years ago, I didn’t know any of these ladies. Now we’re taking our first group getaway. It certainly feels like a milestone, for us as gang and for me as a BFF-searcher. Travel = friendship.
And considering these are women I’ve only ever spent a couple of hours with at a time, we will probably return even more friendy. Or we’ll hate each other. But I’m going with the former.
I’ve been thinking about what the other friendship milestones are. I think the list looks something like this:
Milestone 1: First meeting.
Milestone 2: Getting together (dinner, lunch, movie) just the two of you.
Milestone 3: First friendly text message. (This does not include informational texts like “I’m here. In the brown sweater.” Or “Be there in 5.” These are the just-for-fun-because-I-thought-of-you-texts like “The new bar near us just opened!”)
Milestone 4: Party invite (birthday, holiday, house, whatever).
Milestone 5: Ongoing emailing about nothing in particular.
Milestone 6: Talk on the phone. Woah. Big time.
Milestone 7: Asking for a ride.
Milestone 8: Crying/Venting/Confiding.
Milestone 9: Travel.
Milestone 10: Daily or near-daily texting/phone-talking. See each other pretty much every weekend, or as close as possible.
And then you’re there. BFFship!
As you can see… The cooking club? We are on our way.
What do you think of my friendship milestone timeline? Is it accurate? Anything out of order? Did I miss anything?
Mark your calendars! New MWF Seeking BFF readings and signings are on the schedule. I’ll be traveling to Nashville, Miami, and Washington, DC in the coming months. But first, I’ll be at Open Books in Chicago next Thursday, March 22. It will be a reading with an eye toward introducing local readers looking for new friends. Please come! I’d love to see you there.
MWF Seeking BFF 
Girl Road Trip is a big step! And surely a great time. One can really learn about another on a Road Trip. I do like your timeline. Since reading your book, this 60 something is renewing past acquaintances and friendships. Observations from your research has been helpful and comical as I re evaluate my pursuit. Having lost my BBF to cancer, I’ve missed that persons connection to my life. Having many friends, the BFF is nice. Enjoy your girl weekend!
Rachel — what you’re describing is the extrovert style of BFFs. For a big time introvert like me, this trip sounds exhausting. If I was going to travel with friend… it would only be one friend at a time.
I find it so encouraging that you’ve made a big group of friends like this after your college years! I’m so inspired. 🙂
Aloha Rachel, mahalo again for the inspiring writing about friendships and for skypeing with us @ our Kailua book club meeting. Your book inspired me to call one of my BFF’s in California. It turns out she was going on a road trip to pick up her daughter from college for spring break. I immediately booked my ticket and now we are road tripping together in a couple of weeks. As we live 2500+ miles apart, we don’t get to see each other as much as we would like, this is a great opportunity for lots of face to face time. Your book really inspired me to keep in better touch with my BFF’s and to reach out to new folks locally. a hui hou, Ana
I love how Ana took action!!!
I also thought that sounds a bit exhausting IF everybody wants to talk all the time 🙂
I’m an extrovert but also need a few hours a day by myself 🙂
I would put #10 before #9 and #7 between them.
That sounds awesome!! If you find yourselves on the way back through metro Detroit, you should really stop and say hello!! 🙂
Nope, you got it all right 🙂 Thanks again for your inspiring, entertaining blog! I’m a people observer, and love to analyze things, so I love your blog 🙂
It’s funny, I never thought of it as a milestone timeline, but it would definitely explain why efforts from both sides must be made in order to reach these goals or else they end up stuck on one stage indefinitely. Huh. Wow. Your blog is definitely going to add some light as to why some friendships work and why some just require too much work. 😀
I like the list – it was slightly out of order for my BFF and I. We were 1, 5 (facebook chatting actually), 3, 2, 4, 10, 7, 8, 9. We are cry rarely/aloners but we share everything else! We have taken short road trips together but are planning our first long one next month – I’m so excited!!
I like your list, which I have never thought of milestones in friendships. Awesome list.
If you could PLEASE!! PLEASE!! let me know when you will be in Nashville. I live 50 miles from there, and would love a signed book. I have not purchased one yet. But the more I read your blog the more I would like to read it.
It is what you are coming to Nashville for right? I hope so.
Thank-you. so PLEASE do not forget to let me know the Date, Time and Place.
Thanks. again.
Am I your only Guy follower?