My New Year’s Resolution: Make More Phone Calls

Happy New Year!

I’m one of those people who makes new year’s resolutions every other week (I talked about my “kicks”–no caffeine! do more yoga! drink more water!–over at Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project blog last week), but January 1st is the mother of all new habits. Or, I should say, attempts at new habits. Like most people, I’m better at making resolutions than keeping them.

This year my friend-related resolution is to make more phone calls. This applies to friends across the board. Now that I’ve made a decent amount of local pals, I’ve found that my contact with my long-distance friends, the ones I’ve known for decades, has been waning. So I want to try to make one phone call a day to an across-state-lines BFF.

I also need to call my local friends more. These days we do a lot of texting, which is a start, but I think voice-to-voice contact is necessary to really amp a relationship up to BFF levels. You’re more likely to bond and laugh when you have the benefit of voice and tone. And since I started out my search looking for someone I could call just to say hi, I should probably start calling people just to say hi. At least test the waters.

Finally, I need to make calls because I’m worried that I’m using Twitter as my telephone lately. Let me explain. Remember when I talked about Ann Patchett’s brilliant NY Times essay? The one in which she writes that best friends aren’t necessarily the ladies she shares deep, dark secrets with, but the ones she can call to say “Why do I have four jars of pickles in my fridge?” That’s just the kind of relationship I’ve been looking for, too. The problem is that, these days, if I found four jars of pickles in my refrigerator, I’d probably just tweet it: “Just found 4 jars of pickles in my fridge? Seriously. What is wrong with me?”

Twitter is such an easy medium for these kind of one-off thoughts that it has replaced the need to make that random phone call. But those calls are the stuff that BFFships are made of!

So there you have it. My resolution: Make more phone calls.

What’s yours?

One great resolution is to make new friends! If you want to be more social in 2012, MWF Seeking BFF might be just the book for you. You can: 
Order a copy
Read an excerpt
Check out the latest press
Follow me on Facebook and Twitter (where I’ll likely still post about the pickles)


Filed under The Search

13 responses to “My New Year’s Resolution: Make More Phone Calls

  1. Heidi

    I just discovered your blog and I think you’re fabulous. If you ever need a middle-aged friend to call in Wisconsin, I’m your woman! I was just emailing a friend this morning about how I need a “pickles” friend to call too. While my New Year’s resolution revolves around getting healthier, having more friends would certainly help me get there.

    • Why thanks, Heidi! I would certainly love to be fabulous….

      And yes, friends are a vital stepping stone to good health—good luck with your resolutions!

  2. Well, as today marks one year and one day of moving across the country away from all my BFFs. This being the case, we are sharing the same New Years Resolution for friendship: to make more phone calls. It’s so easy to let the weeks fly and then realize “holy crap I haven’t talked to all these people I care about for two months!” Good luck with the resolution!

  3. Megan

    My NYR is NOT to make any resolutions!!

  4. I’m following your lead and resolving to pick up the phone more. I need to talk to people more often and having a laugh on the phone is so much better for the soul than a giggle via text.

  5. Yesterday I called an old BFF who retired to Reno and we spoke for over an hour. Today she sent me an email telling me how much she enjoyed it. When I got off the phone, I told my husband it isn’t “the old days” where long distance calls were only made on Sundays or after 10pm, I should do it more often. It felt so good and cost nothing.
    Today I left a message for another BFF who retired, then went back for her doctorate and is now a professor at U of Colorado. I am so proud of her. I want to be her when I grow up. We used to spend our single NYEs when we both worked in NYC, eating Entenmann’s chocolate covered donuts and watching old Mary Tyler Moore reruns. Then she moved to LA for work.
    Your blog today was so relatable. I hope I stick to calling my far away friends weekly. There’s no excuse.
    Plus, instead of IMing, which now is tweeting or posting on FB as means of communication, I want to speak on the phone. Most of my woman friends only text. I HATE it. Pick up your phone.
    Texting is easier because you respond in your own time, but I want to hear the sound of someone’s voice, especially someone I care so much about.
    Yours was the perfect blog to start off the new year! Thanks!

  6. Caryn

    Hi, just popping in to let you know I read your book last night. I started out with the free exerpt and while I wasn’t as sold on your journey (I’m a 40 year old mom of six, so my challenges are vastly different), I was completely taken with the quality of your writing. After reading several year-in-the-life books that were written or executed so poorly, I found your book refreshing. Plus, I did find that it related to my life in far more ways than I initially imagined. I recently tried to kindle a new friendship, but now realize I waited to long to respond. I’m also intense conversations with a new dance mom friend that I think is time to take to the next level. I can away with several ideas how to male it happen.

    I now have all kinds of follow-up questions! Most importantly, Did Jillian move???

    Thanks for the enjoyable read. I’m wishing you much success!

  7. LizHH

    Rachel, this is totally off-topic, but did you ever read the book Say “Cheese” by Patricia Reilly Giff as a kid? I just finished your book and it reminded me so much of the character Emily’s quest to find a best friend.

  8. YES, YES, YES!! We all need to do more off-line communicating. Nothing can ever take the place of a great conversation with a friend. The phone is great and whenever possible….in person! Off to post this on FB and then to call a friend!

  9. Sarah

    Mine is entirely thanks to you! Mine is to make more friends, and also to put more time and energy into the ones I have. This includes phone calls – with two young children phone calls often seem to hard so I end up sending lots of emails/facebook messages instead but it’s just not the same!

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