It’s lunch, on Sunday, and I’m eating with a friend. I’m explaining why I’ve recently toyed with the idea of phasing out a friendship.
“Well, she screwed me over once. And she always reminds me of why she’s a better person than I am. And once she told me I was stupid,” I say.
“So, remind me of one reason you want to keep the friendship in tact?” my friend asked.
“Well, she’s really close friends with another girl that I really like.”
“Friendships don’t come in groups,” my friend said.
I begged to differ. I wish it was true. In the ideal version of friendship, every relationship would be independent and your friendship with one person wouldn’t affect your friendship with another.
But what if two girls are best friends? And you’d really like to be friends with one but not so much the other? I don’t think so.
It’s possible, sometimes. Sure. But it largely involves big conversations where you explain to one lady that you are ending your relationship with the other, and you have to all agree to be “mature adults” about it, which means you’ll play it cool, but secretly be looking for hints to each others’ friendship with whichever lady you no longer speak to.
As much as I’d like to think that a friendship with one woman wouldn’t dictate that with the other, the reality is that it can be hard to isolate relationships. If you started out as a threesome, it will likely always stay that way. If you have five lifelong BFFs from high school, it’s going to be hard to pick just one maid of honor.
It’s not great news. No. But it’s real life.
So, at lunch, I told my date that while friendships don’t come in groups, they sometimes do. And that I don’t know how to maintain a relationship with one pal while ending it with another. And since we’re friends as a trio anyway, there’s always the buffer of the girl I do like. Even if this other “friend” thinks I’m stupid. Or something.
Do you have any friendships that come in groups? Ever been forced to hang with someone you didn’t like because your mutual friend is just that great? Share your stories below!
If you’ve read MWF Seeking BFF and are willing to share your opinion, maybe you’d like to write a review on Amazon. Hearing about someone’s personal experience with a book can be really helpful for potential readers. Thanks everyone!