Over the weekend, I worked on a quiz for Redbook‘s new website. It was a “What’s Your Friendship Style?” quiz, which is a pretty fun project for someone who obsessed over quizzes as a kid (and, oh wait, that’s right, as an adult too) even though I always got the lame middle-of-the-road result. You know what I’m talking about. YM asks: What’s your popularity status? And the result options would be “You’re a party animal!” “You’re a huge nerd!” or “You’re level-headed.” I was always level headed. Boooring. (Sometimes I would pick the “party girl” answers just to feel cooler, but it was a sham and I knew it. My level-headed self couldn’t hack it.)
I’ve thought plenty about the different types of friends, but telling someone she’s a flake, or a disappearing friend, didn’t seem in line with the project.
My quiz was about all the different types of great friends one might be. Maybe you’re the social gal, maybe you’re the listening ear, maybe you’re the easygoing, reliable friend. Or maybe you’re…..
I don’t know. Throughout all my research, both anecdotal and academic, I had a tough time coming up with other types of friends. Most of us can be split into these three large categories.
Personally, I think I’m the listener. At least, I hope so. I’m certainly not the cruise director. Being the organizer is not so much my forte. I did a lot of that during my friending year, and while it was incredibly rewarding, it was also exhausting. Luckily, though, I made some new friends who are stellar social chairs, so now I get to be social without having to be in charge. Win.
I’d like to think I’m part easygoing up-for-anything friend, too. Though I know that sometimes I’m not actually up for anything. Like if the “anything” involves going to a standing room only indie rock concert, or to a club with bottle service, or horseback riding. I just… I can’t. I know myself, and I’d just get tired and no fun. I wish I were cooler, I do. But I’m not. (I did get better at being breezy, too, during my year o’ friends. Moral: Extreme friending can make you super well-rounded.)
Most people are probably able to categorize themselves into one of these styles, maybe even two. But are there other broad-stroke friend categories? Or is everyone either a confidante, a social butterfly, or an easy-breezy gal?
Where do you fall?
MWF Seeking BFF, the book, is out in less than a month! December 20 to be exact. If you’re inclined to buy the book, can I entice you to pre-order? I’d like to offer a small token of gratitude to those who do, as pre-orders are hugely important to a book’s first week sales numbers and also help build media and bookstore buzz. A friendship bracelet? A personalized note from the author? (I wish I could sign them all!) Anyone have a great idea? I’m open to suggestions.