A BFF Breakup: Witness The Awkwardness

You know how friend breakups are so miserable? And how after you’ve broken up, even being in the same room feels impossible because the tension is so thick with unresolved feelings and crazy intense emotion? Well, imagine that instead of the same room, you had to sit on the same couch. On TV. On The Today Show.

That’s what happened with Martha Stewart’s daughter, Alexis, and her ex-BFF recently. They wrote a book together back when they were friends and now they are promoting it as a duo except they’ve broken up and it is so awkward.

What’s most fascinating about this video, in which they discuss their friendship break-up, is it seems so obvious that Alexis (the blonde on the right) did the breaking up, and Jennifer, her ex-bestie, is trying to be mature and take the high road. She admits flaws and is all “I respect Alexis’s decision.” My heart sort of breaks for her while watching this, though it seems quite clear to me that she’s better off.

I feel like we’ve been given the twisted gift of a case study in friendship breakups here. Notice they don’t look at each other. They do not once speak to each other. Which, according to Alexis, is a “really good punishment.” You must watch for yourself.

Scroll to minute 5:51 below and stick with it until about 8:08.

Have you ever been more uncomfortable? But at the same time, don’t you feel like you’ve been there? It brings me back to fourth grade when my best friend dumped me for reasons I still don’t understand. We got back together a month later but, if my memory serves, it felt like four loooonng weeks on that Today Show couch. A month in fourth grader time is like forever.

And, yikes, poor Savannah Guthrie trying to moderate this.

What do you think? Can’t you just feel the tension in this clip? Have you ever felt the way Jennifer or Alexis must?


Filed under The Search

19 responses to “A BFF Breakup: Witness The Awkwardness

  1. SO uncomfortable and I agree — poor Savannah Guthrie. I definitely would NOT sit on a couch and say “I was dumped” while sitting next to the dump-er. YIKES. I agree with Savannah, something obviously happened, and I’m disappointed that neither one had the guts to say what. Now that might have been helpful to anyone who’s ever been in that position!

  2. Morgan

    Maybe Jennifer is better off. I have never seen any clips of Alexis where I have found her to be anything but thoroughly unlikeable.

  3. Anonymous

    When you said, “I think she’s better off,” you were being very diplomatic. Alexis seems like quite the prickly pear. It’s one thing when you need to end a friendship, it’s another to be downright hurtful. “Some people are just clingy.” Who says that when the “someone” in question is sitting right next to her?

    • Oh gosh, the clingy thing was horrible. “Who says that” is right. That part was the worst, when Jennifer is like “I’m clingy!” Also, I take back what I said about stopping at 8:08. It gets worse and more awkward when Jennifer makes clear she’d like to be friends with Alexis, and she pretty much scoffs. Yikes.

  4. Beth

    I forgot about the clingy thing and the ‘people that are close to their family are weird’ comments. Oh man that is such a doozie.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, apparently Alexis’s mantra “People are different” does not apply to those of us who are close to our families.

  5. darby

    AWWWWKWARD. Alexis seems like such an ass! Does that really happen though, you just wake up and all of a sudden don’t like a person like Alexis says. I don’t think so, there are reasons why you would feel that way not just random like she makes it seem.

  6. Amen to everything you all said already… plus: eesh. I just… eesh.

    Talk about fourth grade (and tenth grade, and twelfth grade, and 25 years old) all over again…

  7. Oooh, very very awkward – I am cringing!

  8. I happen to ‘follow’ Jennifer after becoming a fan of their radio show in the past. Jennifer is really sweet and honest with her fans and regularly chats and even will take you in her closet for a live feed and answer everyones questions down to what kind of bra she wears! Watched the whole thing play out and it’s obvious Alexis has some serious issues. Jennifer on the other hand, while is far from perfect is a very genuine person. And like you say, better off. #huttahlolics

    • Yeah, I found her totally likable in this interview. She seemed not to take herself to seriously and recognize any shortcomings. Alexis…. not so much.

  9. Amanda

    Yikes! I’m pretty sure people like Alexis tend to see others as more disposable, and probably don’t even care to make the same connection in a relationship most of us would. So it’s totally believable that Alexis could’ve woke up one day and said “eh, don’t like her, don’t need her.” Some individuals are just cold and detached by nature, and are content with that.

    Sure they were friends, but we don’t even know the nature of their friendship. It seems like Jennifer maybe thought there was more to their friendship and perhaps even looked up to Alexis in a way, as she seems more genuine; a people-pleaser who wears her heart on her sleeve. You could tell by the awkward tone in her voice that she was hurt and sad, and still wanted to be friends (even before she said that). As if she was trying to defend Alexis’ reasons for dumping her to get on her good side.

    Personally, people like Alexis make me nervous and I tend to avoid them.

  10. Jennifer is better off. Alexis seems like a real joy to hang out with. Totally uncomfortable interview- and IMO, “drifting apart” friendships just mean that you don’t do as much stuff with your friend as you used to, not call them clingy to their face and that you need to “punish” them by not talking to them….
    ps. just found your website and LOVE it- why doesn’t anyone talk about how hard it is to meet new friends in your 30’s? And I just moved from MA to MN, so I know NO ONE!!!

    • That “some people are clingy” line, as if the “some people” weren’t sharing her cushion, was so unbelievable.

      THANKS, Nicole, for checking out my blog — I agree that not enough people talk about just how hard the meeting friends thing is. It’s like dating! Good like in MN, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of new pals in no time. (And if you need some tips, there are plenty here in the archives….) Thanks again!

  11. Anonymous

    I actually can totally relate to Alexis. I went through the same thing with a close friend of mine who was just too clingy, and couldn’t take a hint. I tried the ‘drifting apart’ method, and she couldn’t take it. I think they actually are handling it quite well as adults; Jennifer understands Alexis’s decision, as sad as it is to her.

  12. Christina

    I think I can understand where Alexis coming from… I have dealt with my share of clingy friends… and I have come to believe that everyone has different expectations and even different definitions when it comes to friendship.

    • Anonymous

      Exactly! Sounds like Jennifer is confident and has enough of a life that it doesnt need to revolve around Alexis, which is a very good thing. Of course, it doesn’t excuse Alexis for being kind of a b****…..

  13. Anonymous

    Watching the post-8:08 minute part made me realize how important your website/book are, Rachel. There is clearly such a need for women to understand that friendships come and go and we will survive.

  14. Melinda

    I’m a little late to the party but I had to put in my 2 sense. Alexis is Martha Stewart’s daughter. I think that says it all. Children learn what they live and Alexis learned that people are disposable. That’s exactly how her mother treats people. Why would Alexis be any different? Years ago, when they lived in my hometown, Alexis was friends with someone I knew. She told the mutual friend that her mother treated Alexis as if she were one of the employees. I’m not trying to defend Alexis because what she did to Jennifer was awful but honestly, what do you expect from the daughter of the biggest snake in the pit?

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