Guest Post: On Being Part of a Project

I’m on vacation! Ehile I’m away, I thought it would be fun to hear from some of the products of this search firsthand. Here, my new friend Taylor reflects on being my last, but certainly not my least, girl date.

Final friend-date #52 here! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t more than a little proud to hold that title and to be contributing to Rachel’s beloved blog while she’s out exploring the world.

Rachel’s suggestion for us “new friend guest bloggers” was to reflect on the experience of her approaching us as a way of seeing things from the eyes of the potential BFF. If you’re up on your MWFSeekingBFF facts, you’ll remember me as the non-Christmas-sweater-wearing girl Rachel met back in December. I, the inappropriately dressed guest starving for a job lead; she, the bubbly soon-to-be debut author looking for her final friend date and some long-awaited publishing chitchat. Helping ourselves to jungle juice next to a beer pong table, we instantly hit it off. She was hilarious, insightful and had the charm of orphan Annie, not to mention pitch-perfect sarcasm to match mine: It was a platonic match made in heaven. So when she asked me to dinner the next day, I didn’t know Rachel was courting me for the project…I figured she just wanted to pick my brain about the book world and maybe meet a new friend.

After helping me get an interview with her company (and then later helping me get the job), Rachel and I gradually became work buddies. She’d keep me up to speed with her manuscript progress and book publishing worries, and I, in turn, would look to her for dating advice, work gossip and Entertainment Weekly-related banter. {Editor’s Note: This is the second reference to EW in these guest posts. Recognizing the problem is the first step…} When I realized that our dinner date was part of her whole search for a BFF, I admittedly was a little taken aback. I wanted to think that she wanted to have dinner with me…for me. But the more I thought about it, I realized she was killing two birds with one stone. Would she really make me her last-but-not-least friend-date if she genuinely thought I was a weirdo and didn’t hope that maybe we could at least be new friends, if not, dare I say it, best friends?

The net-net of the situation is that—whatever her motive—I’m glad Rachel made a concerted effort to befriend me. As someone who’s admittedly shy in new social situations, I probably wouldn’t have reached out to Rachel after the party. I thought she was equal parts funny, witty and adorable, but our encounter was brief(ish), and she seemed to know everyone (I only knew our one mutual friend); it wouldn’t have been in my character to go out on a limb and ask for her number, as much as I would have beat myself up for it after the fact.

So, what have we learned? Whether you’re on a year-long search to find the perfect friend or are simply open to expanding your friend circle when the right person comes along, you can’t lose anything by putting yourself out there and asking for a potential new friend’s digits. What’s the worst that can happen?

There are so many factors that go into finding that one perfect BFF—it’s so much like dating—and sometimes it’s a matter of luck and timing. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Even though we don’t work together anymore, we still make time to see each other and catch up. And I think I speak for both of us when I say we couldn’t be happier to call each other new friends, even if we’re not {Editors note: yet?} best friends.