Let’s start this Friday with a question: When you feel strongly that a friend is making a mistake in her relationship—be it getting married, taking back a bad guy, moving in too soon, whatever—how much do you tell?
I don’t have an answer to this. I never know the right course of action. Generally, I feel like girls are going to do what they’re going to do. Telling a friend it’s a mistake to get back together with someone probably isn’t going to stop her. But it might stop her from seeing any more of you.That said, if you truly believe that she’s making a mistake, isn’t it your duty as a friend to be honest?
I’m grateful that I can say I’ve never been to a wedding and thought “uh oh, this is going to end in divorce.” Given the divorce rate in this country it’s likely that a good handful of the marriages I’ve witnessed won’t make it, but I’ve never had the hunch. Still, I’m sure plenty of people—plenty of best friends—have. If I did, I’d probably smile and cheer during first dance anyway because, well, what else is there to do?
As I think about this more, perhaps I’d look for an opening. If my friend made clear she was questioning her relationship, I might offer my opinion to nudge her in the “right” (and I realize this is a subjective term) direction. But to offer my unsolicited opinion, even to my bestest of friends, I just can’t see myself going there. And I don’t know if I should feel good or guilty about that.
Tell me, readers, what would you do? Share your honest opinion? Or keep your feelings to yourself for fear of screwing up your friendship?