The Hard Facts: What Kind of Friend Are You

It’s Research Wednesday! Where I share the latest, or most fascinating, in the science of friendship.

“You probably look for different things from your friends: nuturing qualities, wisdom, the ability to make you laugh. So what do they turn to you for? See what style of friendship you offer (you may find that you are a blend of styles), plus pick up some expert advice geared toward your ‘type.'” (“What Kind of Friend Are You?” Real Simple)

I love a good quiz. I was that girl who subscribed to Seventeen, YM, Teen and Sassy simultaneously, and filled out every single quiz, including “Is Your Boyfriend Cheating on You?” when I didn’t even have a boyfriend.

Womens magazines are decidedly short on quizzes these days, don’t you think? I’d really rather have In Style or Women’s Health tell me which jeans I should be wearing, what I should eat for breakfast, and where I should head on my next vacation than have to make these decisions on my own. I want to know what kind of decision-maker I am, who my celebrity soul mate is, and whether I’m a good wife. And I want my magazine to be the one to tell me.

Enter Real Simple‘s “What Type of Friend Are You?” quiz. Just fill it out—quick, easy—and it will tell you all you need to know regarding how you interact with others, why you’re fab, and what you could do better.

Me? I’m The Confidante, according to RS. “The beloved mothering type who everyone turns to when things go wrong.” I’m not so sure. Yes, I love a good tete-a-tete with a pal, but I wouldn’t exactly call myself the nurturer. That said, I do love a good talk-it-out therapy session. I’d rather have dinner with a friend than go dancing. When Callie and Sara asked what I wanted for my bachelorette party, I thought the answer was obvious: “A slumber party!”

Real Simple warns me to “beware of people who take advantage of your generous spirit. … If you’re entrenched in the mothering role, you may not be getting what you need.” I have to be honest, this write-up gives me too much credit. I may love a good heart-to-heart, but I do my fair share of talking about myself. I’ve never once worried that I was the friend to whom everyone vented but no one ever listened. Still, I like this confidante label. I’ll take it.

It’s fun to turn friendship science on yourself every now and then. Take the quiz and then share your “type”! Think it’s accurate?


Filed under The Search

11 responses to “The Hard Facts: What Kind of Friend Are You

  1. katieleigh

    Apparently I’m the confidante type, too – there are always tissues in my purse! And I think it’s fairly accurate – except, like you, Rachel, I do my fair share of venting/talking about myself. (And I have fewer uber-needy friends than I used to – though that was a big struggle for me in high school.)

    I do love a good quiz. Thanks for sharing this one!

  2. Laurie Lee

    I took the quiz last week when it was posted over at . I got “responsible friend” which is right on accurate!

  3. Karen A.

    Responsible Friend, I think that captures it pretty well. I especially relate to the clarification “you may seem to have more free time than your friends who lead chaotic lives” …. brings to mind a committee member who said to me “You work? Full time? oh I thought you home all day, (pause) how do you get this all done?” LOL

  4. Another Callie

    I am the definition of Responsible Friend. Always have been, always will be. It is often a frustrating role to be in because I often find myself holding others to the same high standards of responsibility that I set for myself, which I know is not fair to them!

  5. I got the “Cruise Director”. Not even close. But then again, none of the answers I was allowed to choose from even remotely sounded like me. I chose by process of elimination.

  6. Katie

    Confidente as well..which makes sense. I realized recently that I have so much less drama in my life since I got married, thus, I’m more inclined to want to delve into the drama (good and bad) of my friends more than dish on my own (or lack there of).

  7. The quiz told me I’m “the glue of the group,” which I can kinda see…and coincidentally, right now I’m stressing out big-time over planning a bachelorette party and getting no help whatsoever from the other girls! I feel like this isn’t a role I actively choose or gravitate towards, but a void that needs to be filled by someone.

  8. Jen

    I got the responsible friend. I was wondering why at first…then I realized something: I carry band-aids, tissues AND breath mints in my purse! I was always the one in HS who had “supplies” with her for anyone needing them during their time of the month. I was always the one when we went out who had random things–safety pin, elastics, etc. My friends always said “OMG you’re always so prepared!!!!”

    I guess I’m the responsible one, but my life has always been more “grown up” than other peoples’ lives, (aka, the little adult at 5 yrs old) so maybe to them, I seem more responsible? I don’t feel like it at all times, and it’s funny, no one ever takes me up on my offers of food, laundry/cleaning help, pet care, etc when they have a family crisis. Hmm.

  9. Melinda

    I got Cruise Director too. I agree with Melissa, none of the answers really applied to me so I didn’t really agree. In fact, when we do girl’s nights, I always let somebody else plan it! I think I would be more of the confidant but not totally on spot there either. I think a Dear Abby catagory would be more like me. I get al of “What should I do?” questions latley

  10. Like this quiz and thought it was accurate. I got responsible friend and as I was answering the questions I thought it might head in that direction.

  11. Nico

    I also got confidante, but like some of the others was mostly picking from answers that didn’t really describe me. I think I’m probably somewhere between confidante and responsible friend… and I think part of that is because I’m an introvert where most of my friends are extros, which means I do a lot of listening… 🙂

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