I try, really hard, to be open to new people. I make a concerted effort to give everyone a chance.
Back when I started this search I found myself writing people off quickly and for no valid reason. Before I’d even met someone, it would often seem perfectly clear to me–from a sentence in an email, an age difference, whatever–why we were likely a bad fit. I learned pretty quickly to get over that. If I wanted to make new friends, I was going to have to be open to new friends.
I’m better now. Usually. But there are some friend-dates where one particular thing will go wrong at the very beginning and that’s it. I can’t bounce back. Or I can, but it’s tough.
My pet peeve? When someone is really late to meet me and doesn’t apologize. If I’m waiting for 20 minutes past the agreed upon start time, and you arrive and say “I’m so sorry I’m late, really, it’s just that my cat pooped itself and I had to clean it up just as I was leaving”? Fine. I’ll tell you not to worry about it and move on from there.
But if you waltz in 20 minutes late and act like it’s standard, and don’t even offer a courtesy “sorry to keep you waiting”? To me, that’s rude. I get that everyone is late everywhere these days and punctuality standards have lowered. I don’t like it, but I get it. Still, is it so hard to just offer a quick apology?
The thing about this pet peeve, though, is that it can ruin a friend-date. Because when someone shows up and acts like it’s normal that she’s 15 or 30 minutes behind schedule, and that it’s no big thing that I’ve been waiting this whole time, I get really flustered. I’m so expecting some recognition of the situation that I have trouble shifting gears and jumping into conversation immediately.
Perhaps this is largely my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t stand on ceremony, as my mother-in-law would say. (Is that the correct use of that phrase? Idioms make me feel old.) It just irks me, and then I’m off on the wrong foot with a friend I don’t even know.
I don’t have many pet peeves. There are few things a potential BFF could do that would make me rule her out too quickly or start the date with a sour taste. But I’m not perfect. We’ve all got stuff, and I guess this is mine.
What’s yours? Is there something a friend-date could do (or has done) that would get you started on the wrong foot? What’s your girl-date pet peeve?