A while back I mentioned how excited I am for Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). Yesterday, as if someone up there was looking out for me, a hearty excerpt of the book was posted online.
Also, because perhaps I needed further proof that Mindy Kaling and I should be besties (she and I have both cried to Paul Simon’s Graceland!), there is a chapter entitled “The Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities.” Basically it’s a list of everything that is expected of a BFF, and everything best friends deserve. Said rights include “I Can Borrow All Your Clothes,” “We Sleep in the Same Bed” and “I Can Ditch You, Within Reason.”
My personal favorite, though, is “I Will Hate and Re-Like People For You.” Kaling writes: “But don’t get mad if I can’t keep track. Robby? Don’t we hate him? No, we love him. Okay, okay. Sorry.”
This is real. Yes, of course, we all form our own opinions about the people in our lives. But if my best friend tells me that we love her coworker, and then one day tells me we hate her because she stole a promotion, and then we love her again because she was responsible for a raise? Sounds good to me. I can praise her or talk smack, just tell me how we feel today.
You can read the full excerpt here. The BFF section starts on page 15.
I’ve been thinking about it, and here are a few other best friend rights and responsibilities I would add to the list. You know, in case Mindy is asking:
- When you are wasted, I will make sure you get home safely.
- I will be at your wedding. I will do all the bridal activities I possibly can, and I will be excited about it. And if I’m not, you will never know.
- I’ll try to help you see when you are being unreasonable, but I won’t call you unreasonable.
- We might hold hands sometimes or walk arm in arm, but I am not so into that thing where BFFs kiss on the lips. Just seems unnecessary.
- I will dig into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s/french fries/bottle of wine with you whenever you need to vent/wallow/celebrate/gossip.