Ok. Now that we’ve all seen Bridesmaids (more or less) can we commence discussions? When I first wrote about the movie I had seen a sneak preview, and was happy to give a glimpse into the competition between the Kristen Wiig and Rose Byrne characters.
As I mentioned back then, and now maybe you agree, I was surprised by just how much of the movie had real weight to it. Relatable situations. At its core, Bridesmaids was a movie about friendship more than it was about ladies pooping in the bridal salon and getting drunk on planes (though that whole airplane scene had me doubled over. “What kind of name is Stove, anyway? Are you an appliance?” “It’s called civil rights. This is the ’90s.”)
The relationship between Kristen Wiig’s Annie and Maya Rudolph’s Lillian is another one that deserves some analysis. They’re in that “we’ve been BFFs for life but now one of us is moving on and forcing the other to miserably re-examine her life” phase of the relationship that movies and TV shows (*cough* Private Practice) love to highlight. There is this sense in entertainment that whenever a woman gets engaged or pregnant, somewhere in the world one of her friends dies inside. I think that’s silly. 10 percent true and 90 percent silly.
I do think there’s truth to the distress that both Annie and Lillian feel as they see their lives moving in different directions. They adore each other, they want to still be close , and yet there’s no denying that one of them is about to be living a fancy country club life and one is unemployed and living with freaky British brother-sister roommates.
I’m happy to say I haven’t encountered this friendship conundrum. Yes, I’ve grown apart from friends. But not because one of us got married or because of any underlying jealousies. My faded friendships have been the result of living in separate cities and both parties becoming less and less interested in making the phone call effort. Suddenly you realize you haven’t spoken to one of your “good friends” in approximately six months.
That said, I’m young. When I see my mom-friends I don’t ooze with envy. I’m not there yet. My reaction is more of the thank-god-I-can-still-sleep-in-on-a-Sunday variety. And when I got married, I was young enough that none of my single friends had those “she’s getting married and I’m going to die alone” thoughts. I don’t think.
As my friends and I get older and pass the ages at which we’ve arbitrarily decided we should be getting married or having kids, perhaps then this jealousy, or hostility, will kick in. I don’t know. I mean, I hope not, but what do you think? Do friendships get hostile and tense as we grow in different directions and develop separate lives?