Going Off The Friendship Deep End

You know those guys (ahem, Barney Stinson) who see every girl as a possible conquest? Who forget that sometimes a friendly conversation is just a friendly conversation?

I think I’m becoming one of them.

Last night I had one of those “You know you’ve been blogging about making new friends for too long when…” moments.

(Not that I’m stopping. You can’t get rid of me that easy.)

I was in line at the grocery store across the street from my office. I was getting some tuna salad because I was meeting a potential new friend for a blind girl-date, and I got the sense from our emails that this date was just a drink. My gym bag was on my arm because I’d just endured 45 minutes on the stair-master. The girl behind me suddenly started talking to me.

“Do you go to yoga upstairs?”

This grocery store is one of those bizarre places that carries tofu shirataki noodles but not, you know, milk. And yes, it has a yoga studio on the second floor. And my gym bag gave this girl the impression I went there.

“Oh no, I’ve never been there actually,” I said. “Do you?”

She’d never been there either, she was just curious if it had good classes. Instead, she told me about her studio—”it’s, like, amazing. And when I say amazing I mean, like, seriously amazing”—only three and a half years too late. My last day at work is fast approaching.

She was really friendly. Not overly friendly in an annoying way or anything (I took care of that), but cool, calm and collected. And she was clearly a yogi. Um, BFF much?

As I paid for my dinner, she said “Have a great night!” And then I stood there, awkwardly, trying to decide if I wanted to ask her on a friend-date. Because I CAN’T BE FRIENDLY WITHOUT TRYING TO PICK A GIRL UP! I mean, seriously. What is wrong with me?

Not that there would have been anything wrong with asking her on a friend-date. A bit bold, maybe, but I’ve done crazier. The thing is, I didn’t actually want to invite her to be my new pal—as my job winds to a close, my schedule’s a bit hectic so I’m focusing on nurturing the friendships I’ve already made rather than picking up new ladies, for now. I just couldn’t help myself at first. My brain has become so wired for picking up friends that I forget sometimes that the whole world isn’t living the same friend quest I am.

You’ll be happy (or maybe sad, as I’m sure the resulting ask-out would have provided plenty of awkward banter for this blog) to know that I was able to bite my tongue. I stood there, looking at my would-be BFF for approximately one second too long, and then said, “You have a great night, too.”

Like a normal person.

You’d think that would be easier.


Filed under The Search

7 responses to “Going Off The Friendship Deep End

  1. Ha!! This made me laugh.

  2. Cheryl

    That was pretty good, Rachel! 🙂 Although, I am so very glad that you are willing to share your experiences in real life friend-ing!!

  3. Laurie Lee

    Love it! Too funny!

  4. Laurie Lee

    P.S. Rachel, what are your plans once you leave your job?

  5. Suzannah

    I admire that you stopped yourself…because….I think to start a friendship when already feel spread thin can be an insensitive thing to do.
    In general, I think if we have a friend “date” with someone, that goes well then if you don’t hear back or they seem hard to get a hold of, we tend to assume they just weren’t feeling it. Hard to believe, even when it is the truth, that even though they initiated the first meeting, now they are just too over commited to pursue a closer friendship.

  6. Haha I love your idea of friend dates and how you think of it like picking a girl up! My friend Brian told me today that he met a guy working at the meat area of the supermarket that he thinks he would like to be friends with after they had a good conversation, and thinking of your blog I told him he should ask him out on a friend date! That made him laugh and think of asking the guy “So what are you doing Saturday night?…” and it was funny. I could see how it could feel like you’re asking someone out on a date and think it’s very brave of you to ask anyways and put yourself out there to meet new people.

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