Who’s Your Type?

My girl-crush on Mindy Kaling is something fierce. It started the day Kelly Kapoor told Ryan Howard that she wanted to name their daughter Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor. (Since Mindy is one of the writers for The Office, I feel I can credit her for this.) Said crush has only grown stronger as I’ve followed her twitter feed, sang along to Subtle Sexuality, and enjoyed No Strings Attached way more than I ever expected. Her first book is coming out later this year and is titled, amazingly, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns).

Um, excuse me? Are you in my head??

For all of these reasons (and more!) she should be my second celebrity BFF. (After previously-crowned NPH, clearly.)

So imagine my excitement when I saw these tweets from her this weekend (I told you I’ve been all about Twitter):

“I had a great lunch with a potential friend; she’s a willowy and witty blonde woman I met at Lee’s Superbowl party. New friends after 30!”

And then…

“I like this Carrie Bradshaw tone, but for friendship, not sex. Is the world ready for my ‘Friendship & The City’ blog? It’s rated PG.”

If we really were best friends I would have been like “Hey Minds, that blog exists… it’s mine! Guest post please?” (Though I did tweet at her {tweet at? Tweet to? I still don’t know} about this here corner of the world wide webs.)

Her final friendship tweet read: “‘How Many Best Friends Can You Have?’ ‘Do You Have A Friend Type?’ ‘Do You Share Towels With Your Friend?’ #friendshipandthecity.”

I’ve actually written about how many BFFs a girl can have, but I love the question of whether or not we have friend types. She might have been kidding, but seriously—doesn’t everybody?

Just as I always said I wasn’t into blonds until I married one, I’ve realized that the potential friends I think are my “type” aren’t always the ladies with whom I actually hit it off. When it comes to new potential BFFs, I’m often immediately drawn to confident, chatty, super-cool-seeming types. Until we go for brunch or drinks and I realize they are totally too cool for me. I was drawn to them because everyone is drawn to them! They befriend bartenders and party ‘till sunrise while I’m all awkward and tripping over my words just trying to order a Miller Lite.

I mean, seriously. Pull it together, Bertsche.

The ladies who actually become my would-be-BFFs? Other pop-culture lovers who embrace their nerdiness and are just as happy watching a Glee/Modern Family/Friday Night Lights marathon on a weekend—and exchanging book recommendations—as they are going out. (Obviously, my true BFF would choose the wine-book-TV marathon, if push came to shove.)

What about you? Do you have a “type”? Ever find that the ladies you think are your type don’t actually fit the BFF bill?



Filed under The Search

16 responses to “Who’s Your Type?

  1. I have the same experience with those too-cool-for-me ladies. (I always eventually realize they’re the same type of girl that intimidated me in high school and college.)

    My BFF types tend to be bookish, like me, and a little shy, and they enjoy simple pleasures way more than a night on the town. (Board game lovers – and book nerds – unite!)

  2. Would that I knew what my type is. That could help me a lot. Sometimes I’m not even sure what type I am.

    PS – Didn’t realize you were a Friday Night Lights fan. Am about to wrap up season 2 on DVD. Tim and Lyla – will they or won’t they? It’s killing me. 🙂

    • Oh I’ma TOTAL FNL obsessive. I have an internal battle regarding who I love more–Saracen or Riggins. Depends on the day. Lucky for you, season 2 is actually the worst of them. You are so lucky to have season 3 to look forward to!

      • That’s what I’ve heard. We actually started with season 4 in real time. Then I got seasons 1-3 for Xmas. We have the rest of season 5 (already aired on DirecTV) waiting in our Tivo while we play catch-up. I melt for Tim Riggins, but I’ve got a soft spot for Luke Cafferty too.

  3. Jen W

    I just started FNL Season 1 on Sunday night. I stayed up until 2am! ACK! Addicted!!!

  4. She is completely your celebrity BFF and now nothing would make me happier than to see the two of you in BFF blissdom. (OK, chocolate cake might make me happier, but that is No. 2.) And now I’m going to have to read her book too, just the idea is making me laugh.

    I’m not sure about who I’m attracted to BFFwise, I’m going to have to start paying attention. But not the super confident types, I’m always convinced they wouldn’t like me.

  5. Kate

    I once stayed up ALL NIGHT watching FNL on Netflix. I got my mom and dad (who played high school and college football in east Texas in the 70s) hooked and my dad promptly bought all available seasons on DVD. After the last episode he wanted to start over from the beginning. How cute is that!

    My type is definitely literary but not snobbish, easy going and low maintenance, a closeted introvert, and witty. It never fails. My high school and college BFFs became BFFs after doing bridesmaid duty at my wedding, so there must be a trend.

  6. Lorrie Paige

    I have a type but they are the ones who usually have WAY too many friends to give any kind of quality time for BFF material.

    I’m not sure what you all mean by your definition of “cool”. But my definition of cool (and who my BFF type would be–I know these people): Love books, ABSOULTELY CRAZY about Art, don’t’ take crap from anyone, confident but has that little insecurity there like we all do, highly creative and imaginative, very loyal, and non-judgemental. I’d much prefer a vegetarian BFF, but many are not.

    My celebrity BFF type would I think be Jennifer Jason Leigh (I think I walked by her in NYC’s Central Park when I lived there). I think she’s awesome. Interestingly, we are the same age.

  7. I love this post. Mindy Kaling is completely BFF crush-worthy (and so are you!).

    My closest friends are bolder and brassier than me — even a little bossy. I would say that doesn’t fit with my ideal “type,” but these friendships have worked out wonderfully. Most importantly, my type must understand the importance of snacks on road trips. WHY WOULD YOU EMBARK ON A JOURNEY WITHOUT TWIZZLERS?

  8. I do have a type! They all love books and have similar senses of humor and are complete dorks who embrace their dorkiness.

    My celebrity BFF is Tina Fey. Oh my word, that girl is someone I would lurve to hang out with!! We’re on the second season of 30 Rock (via Netflix streaming) and my husband and I are watching it nightly. I may or may not have thrown a slight temper tantrum the other night when the batteries to our Wii remote died and there were no new batteries to replace them, thus making us have to miss an evening of 30 Rock. My husband, who knows me so well, reminded me we were 2 behind on this season and had it on our DVR and would offer me a Diet Coke if I stopped pouting. I shall keep him, I believe.

  9. Layla

    Definitely. I moved away for university and tried to make friends against type, and ended up gravitating back towards the same type of people I was friends with back home. Moderately studious, honest and drama-free, prefer not to get drunk but aren’t against drinking, practical and like camping.

    Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) – sounds awesome. Darn, I have to wait till November to buy it.

  10. Helwick

    Haha, Bertsche I love this post! She is totally my girl crush too and I am literally waiting with bated breath until her book comes out. Confession – she went to my old gym (Crunch) and I often found myself running on the treadmill next to her or bumping into her in the locker room. But I never said anything! BUT, this was a year ago, before I read this blog – if it had happened now I would totally have chatted her up! Talked about a Missed Connection… xoxo

  11. Suzannah

    Oh! I completely have a type….I like ‘cool’ moms. by my definition that means she has kids and is very involved in their lives, has a strong sense of style (but doesn’t have to be the same as mine), exercise is a big part of their life, and loves to laugh! and dance at inappropriate times!
    My type is up for getting a pedi (sees this as a grooming necessity) , but can also go camping at the beach , drinking wine while the husbands fish..a good time for all!
    She must be easy going and even tempered, I can’t do moody. My long distance BFF sayin is” if it ain’t fun, it ain’t done!”
    I am not sure of the character’s name, but the mom on Modern Family, is exactly my type!

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