How This Friendship Happened…

I mentioned earlier this week that I had some of my new friends over this weekend. This morning as I was driving to work, I got to thinking about the last guest to leave my house, and how it is that we came to be friends.

It’s a pretty good story, actually. I was reading an article on Jezebel about making friends in a post-collegiate world and left a comment saying that I’d been blogging about this very topic after moving to Chicago. Another reader responded to my comment, explaining that she too had moved recently to Chicago, and she felt my pain. I’d never picked up a friend in the comments section of a website, but I figured they call it “community” for a reason, right?

I wrote her a message through the site. Something about “this is awkward, but how do you feel about a girl-date? The friend kind, that is.” I like to think my message was a tad more eloquent or witty, though I can’t seem to remember my Jezebel username or password in order to actually confirm any eloquence or wit.

A little over a month later—I think it was closer to two—I got an email. She hadn’t logged into her Jezebel account, she’d been away, so it took her a while. No biggie. Hers was a clever and funny email that acknowledged the awkwardness while still being inviting. So we decided to get a drink, which turned into a wine flight. Our dinner lasted almost 3 hours. A good sign.

We exchanged “we should do it again!” emails. And then we didn’t see each other for a month and a half. Not because we didn’t have fun or get along, just because it was summer and we were both busy and got lazy. Eventually she emailed me again and we made brunch plans. At which time she mentioned she loved to cook, and was totally up for any kind of getting-out-of-the-house activity, so I invited her to join my cooking club.

That was October, and we’ve seen each other at least once a month since. I share this story because it’s random and it’s real. I didn’t anticipate hanging out into the wee hours of a Sunday morning when I “approached” this gal online. But then there we were, giggling like schoolgirls at stories of other people acting like schoolgirls.

Apparently this is how friendships happen. Who knew?


Filed under The Search

6 responses to “How This Friendship Happened…

  1. Ashley

    I guess it just goes to show that sometimes you have to take chances or step out side your comfort zone in order to make new friends. I’m glad you had a positive experience and found a new friend! Keep trekking along 


  2. M

    I’m always so impressed with your friend making skills and how far you’ve come with this blog. What are we all going to do when you find the elusive BFF? We will all be very happy for you but I hope you still continue to write the blog!
    A cute little friend story.. I met one of my closest friends when my husband and I were buying thier house. We bonded during the home inspection. It’s been 9 years and I just don’t know what I would do without her!

    • I made a new friend through home buying too! I asked a friend of a friend to be our realtor. I didn’t know here very well, but since it’s our first home, wanted to work with someone familiar. We’ve become friends through the whole process since we’d talk pretty much everyday for a while, and come to find out our far-suburban offices are near each other, so we meet for lunch or dinner every couple of weeks now too.

    • Lorrie Paige

      I’m happy for Rachel as we all are, but I’m not surprised of her friend-making skills.

      Since I’ve been reading her blog, I have come to realize Rachel is very mainstream/normal in her interests in life; it’s very easy to make friends when you have a lot in common with most people. That’s why when she mentioned about being popular in school…it didn’t surprise me.

      The more “normal” you are with interests and personality, the easier it is to make friends. 🙂 Familiarity with others makes people comfortable and want to be with you, generally speaking.

  3. Mandie

    I moved to Aurora, IL (just outside of Chicago) in December 2009 with my boyfriend. I got a great job in February 2010 and I still absolutely love it. I’ve met a couple of women there that I have a few drinks with on occasion but they are quite a bit older than me and it seems like we don’t have much in common. I’m 24 years old, graduated college last year, have an amazing boyfriend, great job….but something is missing. I grew up in the same small town in Texas my entire life and had the same wonderful group of friends. I’m extremely outgoing and figured it would be easy to make friends…not as easy as I thought. I’ve met a few girls here and there and tried to follow up to say hi and possibly hang out, but nothing ever seems to happen. I am happy that I found this blog. Makes me feel like a lot less of an untouchable. I figured that after living here for over a year that I would have made at least one friend. I guess I just have to keep on trying…

  4. TC

    I live in DC and have to be at work for 7:30am. I live across town; therefore, I take a couple of buses…the first bus approx. 6:25am. I met a new friend at the bus stop. We both noticed that our bus driver started to come earlier and earlier…then it dawned on us that we had different bus drivers during the week. Speedy Gonzales (after the Warner Bros mouse not because of race or anything) would come really early. We would then wait for the later bus while complaining about Speedy’s driving throwing us off schedules. We later exchanged numbers after a few run-ins. I can’t recall who initiated that though…probably she did as I sometimes need to be knocked over the head with a brick to pick up a hint. Plus at 6: 25am, I’m not good at reading any type of hints. Anyway, one day coming from work we ran into each other on the bus. We sat next to each other, talked about how great a drink would be at the moment and then got off the bus to grab a martini in our neighborhood. We now grab drinks, dinner, do a few errands together, and I’ve been to her house to watch Bethany Happily Ever After. She literally lives one block from me…score! LOL

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