Last weekend, as you may know, I went to San Francisco. I was there to visit some college friends, but a large motivation for the trip was to meet one of said friends’ boyfriends. They’ve been together for about a year and a half, and, until Friday, I was the only close friend who hadn’t met him.
I wasn’t going out there to give him my seal of approval (though I do approve!), I just felt like if I didn’t make a trip, there was a good chance a very close friend would suddenly be engaged to a guy I’d never even met.
Yesterday I spoke to another friend who is going through the same thing. Her best friend should have arrived in Chicago with her new boyfriend last night. “They’ve been together for six months, so it was time,” my friend said. “Even he knew he had to meet me. I’m in the inner circle.”
The whole “presenting your boyfriend to your best friend” thing is complicated. It’s not like my pal would have broken up with her new man if I didn’t like him. Not even a little bit. It’s a matter of wanting your romantic partner to get along with your platonic partner: “You’re both in my life and not going away, so you better get to know each other and get used to it.”
Or such is the general message.
When it comes to boyfriends, meeting the friends is not unlike meeting the parents. Some might say it’s even harder. Friends can be uber-protective and highly judgmental. It’s likely that they’re the ones peeling you off the couch/giving you pep talks/listening to you analyze every minor Facebook exchange after a breakup. And if you end things with a guy and then get back together with him, it’s likely your best friends are the ones who will be least welcoming upon his return. Like I said, uber-protective.
While you probably won’t break up with a guy simply because your friends don’t like him, if he wins over your friends—if they adore him—you may find yourself even more into him. Admit it, there’s nothing sexier than when a guy charms your BFFs.
So the big question is: When do you make the big introduction? Do you present your potential man to your BFFs right away because they can smell crazy on a guy from 300 yards away? Or do protect him for as long as possible, because your best pals are a bunch of vultures, looking to pick apart any guy you bring home?