Yesterday I had lunch with a friend who I met through this blog. Just as we put our napkins in our laps, she made an observation about my recent posts:
“I notice you’ve started writing more about friendship and less about the search,” she said.
I don’t know that I’m writing less about searching for a BFF, per se, but I am, I think, writing less about the questions of where to meet potential friends, and more about how to turn those new friends into best ones.
This isn’t on purpose. As my search has evolved, the blog has changed along with me. When I started writing here, my main question was where in the world should I start? How could I find people to ask out on girl dates? Why was it so hard to talk to a potential best friend in a restaurant or a yoga class? Over the year, I’ve improved in those departments—you know, except for the times when I’m totally awkward—and now I’m in phase two. I’ve found the potential BFFs, now I need to turn them—some of them? Any of them!—into plain old best friends forever.
This might be the harder stage. There is some finesse involved—“I want to hang out with you all the time, but I’m not a stalker, I swear!”—and while most people are open to girl-dates and friendships, they aren’t necessarily in the market for a new partner-in-crime. Plus, as I discussed yesterday (and THANK YOU all so much for your amazing insights) the whole let’s-go-to-the-mall-on-a-whim thing isn’t quite as easy in the adult world of scheduling as it was when I was 13 and had nothing to do.
My intention for this blog was to chronicle my quest for a new best friend, and to bring readers on the journey with me. But now I figure it’s time to check in with you guys. Are you missing the stories and analysis of the where-to-find-friends variety? I still try to address those questions as they come up in my everyday life, but admittedly they arise less now than they did when I was making a daily effort to meet new people. Would you like more posts focused on where to pick up girls, or are you enjoying this next phase of the journey? Be honest, I don’t offend easily.
The goal is to strike a balance, but since you guys are nice enough to check in and give me feedback all the time, I want to be sure I’m giving the people what they want! And, as always, if there is any specific topic you wish I’d write about, feel free to shoot me an email.