My Hopes for a Friendly New Year

I should jump on the year-end post bandwagon. It’s that time I guess…

I’ll start, today, with my friendship-related resolutions for next year. Tomorrow, I’ll recap what I’ve learned this year. In the comments, I’d love for you to do the same.

So here goes…

My friendship resolutions for 2011:

1. No more icebreaker games! Wearing a nametag and playing “Fun Fact Bingo” or “I Like People Who…” was a common occurrence this year. Next year I hope to do a bit less of these activities and focus more on developing the potential friendships I’ve already found.

2. Meet the parents. It’s a relationship milestone, and I’m hoping I’ll get there with a bunch of my new pals. Actually, I want them to meet my mom. She’s local and she’s on call for a brunch date with any new friendship that gets serious. Has this become dating or what???

3.Put renewed energy into keeping up old friendships. Given all the research I’ve read—telling friends how much you value their friendship will make you 48% more likely to be “extremely satisfied” with the friendships in your life, friendships without face-to-face contact decrease in closeness by 15% each year—I’ve learned it’s difficult but rewarding to keep old relationships strong. This search was never meant as a replacement, just a complement, so I must do the work to keep both types of bonds in place.

4. Read more friendship memoirs. I’m currently reading Gail Caldwell’s Let’s Take the Long Way Home. Also on my list are Cheap Cabernet: A Friendship, Autobiography of a Face and Truth & Beauty (they’re a package deal) and Mentor: A Memoir. (Anyone have anything I must add to this list?)

5. Continue to step out of my comfort zone for friendly adventures. Being open to activities with friends has led me to perform in public, seek out a psychic, take a gong bath, and almost get my brains knocked out of my skull. And nothing brings two people together like creating a memory. Next year I really want to keep this up. Plus, friendly adventures have the added bonus of making me feel like a tourist my hometown. Love that.

What are your New Year’s resolutions? Friend-related or not, please do share. I can use a bit of inspiration.


Filed under The Search

6 responses to “My Hopes for a Friendly New Year

  1. Darlene

    My New Year’s resolution is to get a new job, and this is absolutely friend-related! When you have to work 70-80 hours a week to meet crazy deadlines, you end up having to cancel a lot of social plans and getting the reputation for being unreliable. My friend-making goals went totally out the window this year because there was always some crisis at work that my boss wanted me in the office for.

    The job’s not going to change, so time to change jobs!

  2. Megan

    One of mine is to figure out grad school. Another is to get published as writer (or at least get an agent). The second is far more challenging than the first as I really have no idea where to start…

  3. Lovely resolutions Rachel. I hope to read and write more. It was a pleasure getting to know you through your blog. I can’t wait to read your book. Cheers to 2011!

  4. Lorrie Paige

    My New Year’s Resolutions: To learn two new languages. Study a new-found philosophy. Read a friendship series of books: Circle of Five. Charmed Circle. The Divine Circle of Ladies Making Mischief. Ladies Courting Trouble. Ladies Playing with Fire. The Divine Circle of Ladies Rocking the Boat. Ladies Tipping the Scale. They are five witchy BFFs solving different crimes together, so I don’t know if you’d be interested in the series Rachel. I plan on reading them over and over until I know them just as well as Jane Austen fans know her books and the characters well! 🙂 Now, if only there was a local Dolores Stewart Riccio book club–I would so be there!!

    I’m devoting more to charities/philanthropy starting in 2011. I’ve always given before, but beginning in the new year, even more, and make much less time for looking for friendships. Actually, I won’t be “looking” for friendships at all, but not closing the book on making friends either. Just anyone who wants to be my friend will have to really prove themselves and aggressively come after me! lol! Because my interests will be mostly of the above stated. Either way–make friends or not–I’ve already made my new year awesome. What’s that saying? You can’t change others but you can change yourself, so I’m-a changin’….I’m really looking forward to 2011, and the future focus for my blog as well will be revealed totally tomorrow! 😉

  5. Suzannah

    Biggest resolution on the friendships front…
    1.Answer my stinkin’ phone!!!…I am most comfortable dealing with new aquatainces thru email or text….I am coming to realize when I call someone and they return the phone call with a email or text, it makes me feel kinda avoided….so as hard as it is more for me, I will start answering my phone!!!!
    2. Start doing more of the inviting& also start accepting more invites!..
    But mostly 2011 will about stopping to smell the roses….enjoying all the wonderful daily moments with my kids, husband, and friends…
    The biggest resolution, that I will not have,….is focusing at all on weight loss or running goals….2011 is about all the wonderful people in my life, not my jeans size!

  6. Joy

    I haven’t made any resolutions as such. I do need to lose weight, but that’s all year, every year – nothing new!

    I’ve added the book titles you’ve mentioned to my reading list. Let’s Take the Long Way Home is first…

    Happy New Year! 🙂

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