The Friendship I Covet

I added a new show to my weekly rotation. This is a big deal since my weeks are already at capacity with How I Met Your Mother, Glee, Law & Order: SVU, Modern Family, Survivor, Grey’s Anatomy, The Office, 30 Rock, The League, Private Practice, and Desperate Housewives. And those are just the shows in season right now (forget about Biggest Loser and Friday Night Lights, two more faves).

Wow, that’s a little embarrassing. Please don’t judge.

But anyway. The latest series to steal my heart is a reality show on The Sundance Channel. Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys. According the website, the show is about “celebrating the special relationship between straight women and gay men.” The series documents the lives of four straight-girl/gay-guy couples. In some cases their friendship dramas are universal—one girl is clearly jealous that her BFF is getting married before her. Others, like the guy who asked his best friend to be his surrogate, are more specific to the gay-guy/straight-girl thing.

No matter. It’s all equally fascinating.

I’ve always wanted a gay BFF. I can promise that this dream came out of more than just Will & Grace (though it obviously perpetuated the yearning). In the opening credits, one of the women in Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys says that “there’s something about my relationship with a gay man that I cannot get in a relationship with a girlfriend.”

I think she’s right, but I want to know what that “something” actually is.

It’s tough to pinpoint, but after my recent four-episode marathon, I think I may be onto something.

Here’s my hypothesis: A woman isn’t always completely honest with a female friend because she worries about offending her. (No matter how much you love your BFF, will you tell her the jeans she paid top dollar for make her look fat?) For that same reason, friendly teasing can be a minefield.

With guys, you can jab and speak up and be completely honest and the chances of them getting offended are scientifically proven to be lower. To that end, they’ll likely be honest with you in ways females wouldn’t dare.

With gay BFFs you get the best of both worlds: The platonic intimacy of female friendships, and the tolerance for offensive behavior—and thus more honest communication—of men.

Doesn’t it sound dreamy?

So yeah, I need a gay BFF, stat.

Do you have a gay best friend? What do you think makes the straight-girl/gay-guy relationship so special?

And if you’re going to tune in to Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, please note that I am obsessed with Sahil. His dry wit! His Justin Bieber hair! I’m not so into his straight-girl BFF, but he’s a keeper. {Watch clips of the show here and here}


Filed under The Search

9 responses to “The Friendship I Covet

  1. debbi

    First, when is the tv show on-i’m also a tv watcher-wouldnt be without my dvr. To the point of the merits of a gay bff-i’d be willing to try it

  2. Karen A.

    Oh yes, I treasure my friendships with gay men, they bring a unique perspective and openness.

  3. Funny. Two years ago, as a thank you for watching their cat, my gay BFF and his husband gave me the book “Girls who like boys who like boys”. I have read it 3 times and have cried each and everytime (it a series of short stories). I have been friends with Jason since we were 12 (we are now 30). I was friends with him when he wasn’t gay (he swore he wasn’t and I believed him). I was friends with him when he told me he was gay and I replied with “so?” It is the longest and best relationship I have ever had.

    What makes it so special? It’s kind of hard to describe but here goes…
    There is no competition. I think our society makes it hard for women to be 100% supportive of each other. You always want to be the prettiest or smartest of the group. My boys tell me when I look fabulous and there is no implied “but”. And on the flip side, there is no sexual tension. We all scope the same men together (me more subetly than them). And J likes to motorboat me when he’s drunk.

    I tell him when he’s being stupid. He tells me when I’m being a bitch. And we don’t sugar coat it because we don’t need to.

    Sometimes they have dinner parties and it will be me and 8 gay men. Heaven! Although the conversation isn’t exactly PC…

  4. Beth

    Did you see today’s Red Eye?! Same topic– Great timing.

  5. OMG I totally agree about Sahil!

    I have to stand up for Sarah, though, and say that her putative jealousy is 100% the product of editing (like, “He’s living my fantasy” was “I don’t think he’s living my fantasy” when it came out of her mouth) and the director saying “can you do it again, but like this?”.

    That said, I’m thrilled that you like the show, and I hope you continue to tune in for the rest of the season!

  6. Pingback: My Reality TV BFFs. Who Are Yours? | MWF Seeking BFF

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