You know what can make it hard to find new friends? Writing a blog about how you have no friends.
This blog has been a blessing and a curse. It has helped me forge some great new friendships. But it also may have scared off some potential new BFFs.
Perhaps it’s the fear that their lives will be broadcast on the Internet (one I understand completely, which is why I try not to blog about specific people without their approval). Or maybe it’s that they read the blog after meeting me and think, what’s wrong with her that she needs to go online to find friends?
Just the other night, I was talking to a classmate who has read some of my posts. “What’s with the whole BFF thing, anyway?” she asked.
I had to explain that I have friends, lots of them. Now I even have plenty of them in my zip code. It’s just that I don’t have the local, go-to, last-minute-phone-call, let’s-recap-last-night friend.
She totally understood and told me that her BFF, one who fits that description exactly, lives in Boston. But it can be an awkward conversation to have. It’s like explaining to a first date all the reasons you are looking for a husband. Which makes you a crazy lady who gets cut round one from The Bachelor.
When I first started writing this blog, I planned to keep it from potential friends. I figured the public search would come off as a bit aggressive and I didn’t want anyone to think I was more interested in them as a “project” than a friend. But that quickly became impossible. I post my blog on my Facebook page for one thing, so hiding it from new friends would mean not accepting requests or blocking them from my wall, and all that shadiness is not really my style. Also, after writing five days a week for seven months, this blog has become a pretty big part of my life. To pretend it doesn’t exist would be a fairly dishonest beginning to a new relationship.
I don’t know for sure that the blog has turned some friends off, but it’s the only reason I can think of for the budding friendships that have vanished into thin air.
For now, I’ve decided there’s nothing I can do about it. I write a blog about friendship, and if that’s a dealbreaker for some people, so be it. But still, it kinda sucks, right?
Have you ever had anything—projects, relationships—that you’ve tried to keep from new friends? Would a blog like this make you wary of a new pal? I’m not going to stop writing it or anything, just curious…