Some friendships, without ample time for getting-to-know-you, never would have been.
Others happen in an instant.
It’s the love-at-first-sight of friendship. When two people just… work. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know the person you met will be in your life going forward. Perhaps you run towards each other in slow motion. In a field. With your arms extended. Maybe Chariots of Fire is playing. Maybe.
In Click: The Magic of Instant Connection, authors Ori and Rom Brafman dissect these seemingly magical moments. “In its simplest terms, clicking can be defined as an immediate, deep, and meaningful connection with another person or with the world around us. Typically, it takes weeks or months before most of us feel truly comfortable with a new person. … But sometimes this process is greatly accelerated, and the connection seems to form almost magically and instantaneously.”
I’ve had this connection a few times. Hopefully all of us have. I can think of two old friends where, the minute we met, I thought “Yes, please. You fit nicely.”
I’ve even had this moment with a friend I don’t see much anymore. I met Kate in the months after graduating college. She was my friend’s roommate, but the first night we met we got to talking about books and something just clicked. I knew we’d be friends. We ended up starting a book club together, a perfect way to see each other at least every month. Some six years later, she lives in San Francisco and I’m in Chicago, so we don’t talk as often as I’d like and we haven’t seen each other in years. But I still feel like we’re kindred spirits. When we do talk—usually via various technologies—it’s easy. We understand each other.
The Brafman brothers call this “quick-set intimacy.” The bonds of which “can be surprisingly strong and create a tenor in the relationship that may be lifelong.”
In the examples in the book (or at least what I’ve read so far) many of the clicks happen between two people who you might not otherwise expect to hit it off. But for whatever reason, they instantly form an alliance. And suddenly the team is stronger than the sum of its parts.
The book will go into the factors at work that make these instant connections happen. But I haven’t read that far. So for now, I want to hear from you. Have you ever had that magic click moment? Care to share the story? Is there anything specific that you think caused the two of you instantly hit it off?