The question of today: What do you do when you can’t stand a friend’s significant other?
I should probably leave it at that. A 16 word blog post.
I won’t be offering any stories from my own life, that’s for sure. This blog is about making friends, not losing them, so no personal examples here. No siree.
But it’s happened to everyone hasn’t it? Someone you adore inexplicably pairs up with someone you just don’t get, and what you don’t get even more is how they could be together. Because she’s so friendly, and he’s so….arrogant. Or he’s so funny and she’s such…a dud.
There are two different ways this scenario can come to pass. Scenario A: Longtime friend starts dating someone new and he makes your skin crawl. Or scenario B: New friend introduces you—finally!—to his longtime partner, and she offends you each time she opens her mouth. Afterwards you just want to thank him for keeping her away from you this long.
Now I’m not talking about a bad person. Your friend’s new guy isn’t abusive—physically or emotionally—and he’s not cheating on her. There’s no basis for you to tell her to end it. You’re just not really feeling him.
In the tales I’ve been told, there are only two courses of action. 1) Try to make this a one-on-one friendship. Don’t focus on the couple aspect. Every now and then you’ll have to suck it up and go to dinner with both of them, but mostly it’s about you and her. Girl’s night! OMG! 2) Let the friendship slink away. It often seems that when BFFs don’t like each other’s partners, the friendship starts to fade. It’s not necessarily a conscious decision, unless you’re Lauren and Heidi and then it goes down for our viewing pleasure. But mostly, I think it’s a sad but quiet dissolution.
I know you people out there—yes, you—have been through this. What’s your coping mechanism? Is there a way to make her more tolerable? A trick to avoiding him altogether? You can be anonymous. Now…go!