Part of searching for a BFF is figuring out what the term actually means. Who qualifies? When I started out I said I was looking for a “last-minute plans” pal. Someone I’d feel comfortable calling on a Sunday morning if I needed a brunch partner or whom I’d invite over for a Friday TV-and-wine night. “To me, that’s what BFFs are,” I wrote in my very first post (and on my About page). “Not just people who know your innermost secrets, but the ones up for grabbing a bite on a whim because they love being with you just that much, and getting together feels easy and natural rather than a chore you need to pencil in.” I still stand by this statement. Sort of.
Here’s the thing: I’ve made some good spontaneous friends. There are people with whom I might be not-awkward enough to invite to a movie on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Would I call them my best friends? Not even close.
When I crown my new BFF (That’s a joke people. I understand there are no women lining up to accept this rose) she will certainly be someone I feel comfortable calling whenever, whether for a spur of the moment invitation or just to say hi. But that’s not enough. That’s only one aspect of close friendship. It would be cool if she knew my innermost secrets, too. And if I could call her crying if Matt and I should have a fight, that would be grand. I’d like her to meet my family (see! It’s dating…) and be someone who could pick me up at the doctor’s office if, I don’t know, something like that were necessary.
This weekend I’m flying back to the East Coast. Friday morning, Sara and I are road tripping to the Maine summer camp where we first met. I need to leave early Sunday because I have an appointment in Boston at noon, so I’m planning on getting a ride from someone headed that way. I’ve been a bit nervous about the timing though, because I really can’t be late to Boston. Knowing this, Sara has offered to drive me if need be. She‘s willing to leave our favorite place on earth early and drive pretty far out of her way just to make sure I get where I need to be. And though to most people I would say “No, I can’t let you do that,” I will probably take her up on it. Because Sara’s my best friend and I know she means it when she offers, and that’s what BFFs do.
I wouldn’t even feel comfortable asking any of my new friends to drive me to the airport.
As my search evolves, so too does the image of what I’m searching for. As it turns out, there’s more to bestfriendship than shared gossip over omelettes.
How do you define a BFF? What makes someone qualify for the title?