Back In The Saddle

Well hello there. Back home again, as of half an hour ago, after a wonderful week away. A little jet lagged (I slept an hour or so on the plane, but not sure if that was I’m-still-on-Croatia-time sleep or Bounty-Hunter-is-a-really-boring-movie sleep—the latter being less rejuvenating), a bit more freckled and stuffed to the brim with seafood. A week away was much needed and welcomed, but now I’m back baby. Bring on the friends.

One of the most fascinating things about travel is how quickly we can get used to our new way of life. (This is true of more than just vacationing. If I had my own Secrets of Adulthood, this would be the first: “Things that feel like big changes quickly become the norm.”) I realized this yesterday as I was lounging on a speedboat overlooking the Adriatic Sea. I know, who am I? But while my first day seaside I stared at the water with my jaw on the floor, by yesterday I had to remind myself to really take it all in. Other things I quickly got used to: Not writing every day, not going into an office at all, not spending most nights pursuing potential BFFs.

The week served as a reminder of how easy it can be to fall out of important habits. After months spent building new relationships and girl-dating like a fiend, after seven days away I’m going to have to consciously force myself to do the work again. Because while making and spending time with friends is glorious, planning the get-togethers and mustering up the energy and following through and following through again can be tiring and will never come totally naturally to me. For about 27.5 years I was more of an invitation accepter than extender, letting others do the work and embracing the social connections as they came. I don’t think I will ever be one of those people for whom it comes naturally to chat with perfect strangers or leave “let’s be friends!” notes for waitresses.

But the other thing a vacation is good for—especially one that’s just you and your husband for seven days—is reminding us why we need friends. Because while I loved every single second of my trip, I had only one person to talk to. A man. One who said “TMI, baby” more than once when I started musing on the all funny things travel can do to my body.

So the moral of the week, friend-wise, is as follows: Yes, it’s super easy to stop doing the work. But then you’d have to call up a long-distance friend to complain about the sea urchin needle in your heel instead of showing off your war wound to a new pal face-to-face, and where’s the fun in that?


Filed under The Search

9 responses to “Back In The Saddle

  1. I love your Secret of Adulthood- that is dead on.

  2. I like how vacation is often a time of reflection. Without the usual routine and the stresses of daily living we can really see what is important to us…what we value. The fact that you returned home from your trip ready to get back to the friend-making game is a huge sign that you are on the right track.

    Welcome home!

  3. Glad you’re back and that you had a great time on vacation! Can’t wait to read about the continuing BFF search once you get yourself back into it!

  4. I’m so glad you had a fabulous time, and I love that Secret of Adulthood. And the sea urchin – OW! Now I’m thinking about the beach episode of Friends…

  5. Betty

    Glad to hear you’re back. I’ve been enjoying your blog. I had to chuckle at your conversation with your DH and his TMI comment. It sounds like so many of the conversations I have with my own DH! I oftentimes feel like I am talking like Elaine on Seinfeld because I want to make sure my DH hears every little detail about something I’m going on about. 🙂

  6. Love this post! So true! That happens anytime I take needed time off. Sometimes it feels like trying to start a rusty old engine to get the momentum back up to peak performance level. 🙂

  7. I think that vacation makes us realize many things. It makes me realize how much I do want to share stuff with my guy friends. Or there’s this cool moment during the trip that I want to make fun of but only my best guy friends will truly understand.

    I think that’s why vacations are nice. They help us relax, but also make us realize how much of the other stuff we can miss in life. And those longings are what I’m grateful for.

  8. I know I am coming late to the conversation, but I am glad you had a great time. It’s funny, vacation is almost an alternate sense of reality. At the start of a vacation, I feel this eager anticipation of things to come, but toward the end, I long for the pillow in my own bed, surrounded by all my familiar things.

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