The Tipping Point

You know that moment in a relationship when you realize the two of you just went from “dating” to “couple”? Maybe you hear yourself introduced as girlfriend, or it’s assumed you’re going out this Saturday night, or… well, I don’t know. I’ve been with Matt for almost ten years; I’ve hardly ever dated.

What I do know is that these moments exist in friendship too. Exciting little turning points that, even as they happen, you notice and think Now we’re friends for reals. They’re the anecdotes bridesmaids share in wedding speeches, or Mom-BFFs tell the daughters they’re hoping will follow in their footsteps.

At dinner tonight, my girl-date told me about her relationship with a coworker. “I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew we were friends,” she said, and proceeded to tell me a story about the morning her colleague told her, in passing, that her hips were sore because she and her husband had been plenty busy the night before.

When I think about my significant friendships, I can usually identify The Moment. Doesn’t matter how long ago it was. Like when Sara invited 10-year-old me to her family’s country home. Or when I was a college freshman craving a late-night snack and ran into Dan, who’d just ordered pizza sticks to our dorm. The rest was history.

More recently, a new pal and I were having a heated debate at book club. After the requisite The Great Gatsby discussion, we had a bit of a conflict over the merits of rompers. I was on the side of “They’re cute! I want one for my vacation,” while she was more of the “They’re for infants—wear a dress” value system. So when I met my brother’s girlfriend for coffee the next day and she looked adorable in her patterned one-piece, I texted my new friend a picture and a quick message: “See! Cute.” When she saw a heinous one this weekend, she sent a photo my way. And now, thanks to the very divisive romper/onesie/jumpsuit, our friendship has graduated from book club only to text whenever.

Some—my pal included—might argue that this is the only thing that a romper’s ever been good for. I’ll take it.

Can you recall The Moment with your best friend? What was the tipping point? And most importantly, are you pro or anti-romper?


Filed under The Search

20 responses to “The Tipping Point

  1. megan

    Rompers-very much EW! And, I can’t say I always recall The Moment, but I do like them and remember realizing a few of them as they were happening. Oh, and consider yourself very lucky that you never had to date much!

  2. Hahaha – the Great Romper Debate of 2010. Unless you are Giselle, I’d steer clear, but to each his own.

    I like this post. You’re absolutely right. I tested your theory and thought about all my close friends and was instantly able to identify the “moment.”

  3. Ana

    Hmmm. Interesting to think about. Sometimes I can remember “the moment” sometimes it seems a gradual thing, and then suddenly you’re BFF.
    Rompers…hard look to pull off for mere mortals. I say that unless you are built like a fashion model and/or have stylists to advise how and with what to wear them I would stay far far away. So many things that could go horribly wrong with that look.

  4. Jenny

    Well I dont have any comments about the defining first moments of friendship (at this moment), but I would like to say that I am very much PRO-romper!! I wore one for the first time this weekend (simple, black) and was extremely happy with it. Ignore all the naysayers, Berch!

  5. I love The Moment. With my best friend, it was a really stupid joke that would just never die (actually, now that I think about it, that’s what most of my Moments are – dating included!), and with another very close friend it was, of all things, after she came with me to the ER and stayed by my side despite her fear of blood and hospitals.

    I don’t have the right kind of figure to pull off a romper, but if you like it, I say go for it! I actually have a friend who posed the same question on her fashion blog and is now going so far as to make her own rompers. You should probably sport one for your next friend date with this gal.

  6. I am so THRILLED to find your blog! I recently moved to the Austin area for graduate school and was complaining to my best friend from high school that it is so hard to find friends. Nice to know there are other people out there. I have the obvious ins with my classmates and some people from church, but it’s really hard to get on a hang-out, best friend basis, especially now that we’re out of our core classes. Add to the fact that I really, truly detest the partying and I’ve cut my possibilities of meeting my BFFL down to size for sure!
    I am in between on the romper issue. I think they look great on some people but they make my petite frame look even shorter. I think you need curves for them, am I right?

  7. I like how you describe the moment in the context of friendship. It’s funny how the strangest moments can bring friends closer together.

    On another note, I am impressed that you can write many good posts on friendship. I always wonder what you will write about next. Just love your blog Rachel.

  8. Jen

    Looooong ago, in the seventies, when I was a kid – we called them “bubble” suits. No matter what you call it – a romper shouldn’t be worn by anyone under 25, and if you’re older than nine, you’d better look hot in it. Just my opinion, but I think they’re ridiculous on adults.

  9. I don’t have the body for rompers, so I’m anti for me. But my big question is…bathrooms? That seems like a little too much nakedness for my likes 🙂

  10. Beth

    No rompers for this gal either! But I went to Pitchfork this weekend and saw some adorable ones and some…not so adorable ones. Ladies, not all trends work on every body. As females, when will we learn? I’m trying to ban capris from my mom’s wardrobe as they cut off her leg and just don’t flatter. Tough since she has like, oh, 20 pairs!

  11. Alisa

    Do you ever wonder if your potential BFF’s read this site to determine where they rank? I just laughed at the image of all of your girl dates reading this the morning after to see how you felt about them. 🙂 I am sure you are careful about what you post, but the thought of it made me giggle.

    As for rompers. Well. I saw a woman wearing one yesterday who was clearly on the downside of 60. Not okay. She was thin and pulled it off from behind, but from the front it was a scary moment. Just because you CAN wear something doesn’t mean you should.

    • Well, looks like I lost out on the great romper debate. Bummer! As for my potential BFFs reading, I try to avoid that situation… If they’re going to get blogged, I usually give them some warning. Though you’re right, it’s kind of a hilarious image…

  12. JP

    Love this post! : ) I definitely remember alot of the defining friend moments and it’s funny to think back on that now.

    PS-pro romper for sure! For someone who took as big of a risk as joining an Improv class a romper is expected!

  13. Kerri

    For all of you romper haters, you obviously have not seen the new selection at Armani Exchange. They look great on mere mortals as well as models! Don’t knock it until you rock it.

  14. Adler

    Not all rompers are created equal- even at Armani Exchange. That store was my go to for many a plunging v back in the day, but I digress. I recently saw an all denim romper there, i.e. the jean burrito. However, Jamison’s Armani Exchange romper is super cute and the verdict is still out…

    • JP

      Ok you win on the jean burrito but you have to rock the onesie while you still can!

      • Adler

        I have been pondering another aspect to the romper. There are two things which put a halt to the “bases”: alcohol and the romper. I have heard stories of young kids engaging in activities that I hadn’t heard of until I watched the movie, “Kids”. There is no more making out, but rather kids are going straight to the romp, and now with kids wearing romper-oh dear. This is all a marketing ploy! I guess for all you men out there, if you want a gift that keeps on giving, buy your lady a romper:) Romper for a gift=1, Jean Burrito=-1

  15. Katherine

    rompers – cute but only for the under 30 crowd and if you have a lean, boyish figure. so i guess that means i am anti-romper 🙂

    ahhhh, yes “the moment”…when i was pregnant one of my co-workers was also pregnant, one month ahead of me. she works in a remote office so we would have nice long IM chats about impending motherhood. but i think “the moment” happened after she gave birth and then emailed me her home phone number to chat. it marked a definite change from “work friend” to “friend.”

    nice post – definitely brought a smile to my face as i recalled many a “moment”

  16. AmyK

    I almost left my current place of employment 18 months ago, and the co-worker I was dying to befriend but was too shy told me she didn’t want me to leave because we hadn’t had a chance to become friends outside of work yet. Love! Now we’re inseparable. She’s wacky and confident and brave and my perfect wingman in social situations!

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