Someone’s in the Kitchen with Rachel

Tonight Matt and I are taking a cooking class. My husband’s  not much one for cooking—though he makes a mean smoothie and should probably patent his granola concoctions—but we got a gift certificate for our wedding and this session is Italian food (Pasta with clam sauce! Cannolis!), so I was able to twist his arm.  These classes call for four chefs to a station, which means we’ll be paired with another couple. I’ve already warned Matt that we need to time our arrival perfectly—we don’t want to be too late because I want to scope out the couple we’re paired with, but we don’t want to be too early either, lest we be the scopees rather than scopers.

If we do end up spotting a really promising-looking couple, I’m a little scared my enthusiasm for the potential new friends might turn us into the Heffernans in this King of Queens clip—I, of course, being the Kevin James of our duo (if you’re reading this in an email or RSS feed you’ll have to click through to see this video… Do it! It’s worth it):

Yes, I would be the one all “Hi, I’m Rachel. You like to cook? I have a stove! Come over! We’ve got enough aprons for everyone!” Matt would be the one hiding. Inside the oven.

So as to save me from embarassment and divorce, let’s decide now what I should do. I’m thinking perhaps save the movie and Olive Garden invitations for another time. Start small, perhaps go business card again. I’ll do the number exchanging with the female half of the couple. Guys seem to think friendship advances are creepier than women do. Unless he’s a Red Sox fan, in which case he and Matt will be bonded for life. And we’ll all live happily ever after.

Got any advice for what I should say tonight to avoid turning into Kevin James? And what should he have done in this scene, anyway? Was there any way to make the move without prompting a restraining order? Please rescript this trip to Home Depot, or let me know if you have any brilliant ideas for tonight. I promise to keep you posted on the flip side.

9 Comments

Filed under Everything I Know I Learned on TV, Pickup Lines, The Gender Gap, The Search

9 responses to “Someone’s in the Kitchen with Rachel

  1. Well, I bet all the couples are thinking that meeting people is a side benefit to this class, so if you are feeling the energy – exchange e-mails or biz cards and casually throw out the classic “this was fun, we should grab drinks sometimes.” And then actually follow-up. =)

    I need to take my own advice though!

  2. I definitely think the business card is ideal. It’s not-invasive, non-creepy, and will likely win you their information so you can follow up.

    I hope you get a good, fun couple, as weird as that sounds. May you never experience the walk of shame over Italian food.

  3. I hope you get paired up with a fun couple!! I think you should def go the business card route. It’s casual. Plus, I am sure in the course of making the meal, you’ll end up talking about how you’ve relocated from NYC, so they’ll get that you are trying to make new friends, etc. I hope it goes well! Can’t wait to hear all about it!

    That clip is awesome. Reminds me of a couple on How I Met Your Mother (Marshall & Lily). They are so awkward when trying to make friends with another couple!

  4. That post and clip cracked me up! What a way to start the day! It’s funny because I was preparing to start an experiment for my blog where I’m OVERLY nice to everyone for a full-day.

    But I am almost hoping that you get the Heffernan’s for your couple of choice…just because that would make for a pretty fun story on Monday! Seriously, though, I agree that a lot of couples probably take these classes to make friends who are similar. Good luck! And make sure they spell your name right on the restraining order.🙂

  5. I’m the Kevin James of our relationship too; whenever we meet a new couple I always tell my husband that my new goal in life is to be our new acquaintance’s maid of honor (or, if she’s already married, the God Mother of her first child)…at which he rolls his eyes.

    I had a Heffernan experience about two months ago at the gym. There I was, looking like the biggest dork ever in my swimsuit, swim cap and goggles, waiting by the edge of the pool for a lane to open up. Finally, I leaned over and asked a random girl if I could share her lane with her. I expected her to b*tchy about my request (not sure why) but she was SO nice and we got to talking, then laughing, then sharing our life stories. So I went for it and threw out a “We should double date sometime.” And bingo, a couple weeks later the four of us were sitting at her dinner table.

    Your situation is far better. Since you’ll be cooking together you’ll have plenty of time to make an assessment of how viable this prospect might actually be. If it were me (and because I’m crazy like this) I’d have a couple if/then scenarios worked out beforehand. For example, if the scopees have lots of similar interests and a sense of humor that you vibe with, then I’d go straight for the kill with a “We should grab drinks sometime.” But, if they’re only so-so, then I’d go business card (or nothing at all).

    Bottom line: if they’re cool enough to take a cooking class, they’re probably open to making some new friends too.

    Good luck! Can’t wait to hear all about it.

  6. Leigh

    the business cards are a cute idea…..I’ll be curious to know how it turns out.

  7. Just don’t tell the other couple about that last time you tried cooking, chopped off your finger tip, never found it, but ate the meal anyway. That just might creep them out. hahaha.

  8. Eva

    Oh man, I can totally relate. Making new friends is hard, but making new *couple* friends is infinitely harder. And I’m the one who has to be outgoing, while husband probably rolls his eyes behind my back. I tried to make couple friends at puppy class, but it just didn’t stick. I couldn’t take it to the next step, and that was our loss.

    I think the business card thing is a good idea. And definitely, with the wife. Husbands have a totally different approach to this socializing stuff. Good luck!

  9. I’m way behind on my reading! How did the class turn out?

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