Since I started writing this blog (that long week and a half ago), I’ve been going on about my search in the broadest sense—who can our friends be, how can we pick them up, when does the ease of establishing new relationships fade. I haven’t divulged any details of my actual quest. But let me be clear, I’m not all talk. I’ve been searching. Hard.
I’ve joined book clubs. Two of them. I’ve published an essay, complete with a want ad declaring my eligibility—Looking for friends? Consider me!—to the world. I’ve emailed everyone I’ve ever met in this town. If you and I have ever exchanged the requisite “We should get together!” then you’ve probably heard from me lately. I reached out to a stranger who wrote an essay like mine. I’ve introduced myself to fellow yogis, flashed my most winning smile to other Cardio Hip Hoppers, talked The Happiness Project with a mom at O’Hare and debated the merits of Loving Frank with a stranger via email. I’ve gone on plenty of friend dates—dinner, drinks, movies, brunch. I’ve met a good number of great women, and a few not-quite-right ones. But if there’s one facilitator of friendships, it’s time. My two closest friends have been in my life since I was 10 and 14. A month can’t compare to a decade, and even I, the world’s most impatient seeker, know that.
So that’s what I’ve been up to. Making friends is a time-consuming endeavor, but as I told someone recently, I’ve found the perfect guy, now I need to find the perfect girl.
Am I missing anything? My initial research into friend-making told me to join, join, join, and I have. But that almost seems too obvious. Aren’t the best friendships those that have a great we’ll-laugh-about-it-later story?
Where have you met The One? In line at the grocery store, while shopping for shoes, through the long-lost art of—gasp!—letter writing? There’s something I should be doing that I haven’t, I think. I’m open to advice, any and all. Please? I’ll be your best friend!
(P.S. Today is my BFF Sara’s birthday. This seems an appropriate forum to celebrate her big day. Happy birthday Sar, you’ve ingrained in me such high standards for BFFship that I had to launch a blog to find someone in Chicago who might compare. Thanks.)