On last week’s Modern Family (also known as the best new show that isn’t Glee…if you aren’t watching, you should be), fabulous gay couple Cam and Mitchell invited their adopted daughter Lily’s pediatrician over for brunch. Cam thinks he’s made a bold move (“She said no patient had ever done it before”) whereas Mitch sees that she’s none too thrilled (“Yeah, subtext: ‘This is weird,’”). While watching, it occurred to me that there are limits to who I can consider for potential BFFship.
The whole Mitch-Cam-Doctor encounter brought to mind, specifically, an ongoing internal battle regarding my waxer. I really love Lagena. She’s funny and chatty and knows how to work a tweezer. Every time I’m lying on the table (or is it a bed?) I wonder how I should go about asking her to lunch. And then I remember just how much of me she’s….seen. And then I don’t ask her to lunch at all. I think her intimate contact with… me… precludes her from BFF consideration.
And what if I looked past the nature of our “professional” relationship and we did go out and it was awkward? Lagena is a really, really good waxer. Would I have to find someone else? Would the new girl be as painless with the bikini line or conscious of my brow shape? These are important considerations, not to be taken lightly.
My aunt told me that once upon a time, it was customary for parents to invite their kids’ teachers over for dinner. This too seems like a boundary crosser, but perhaps that’s because I know enough teachers to believe that the last thing they want to see over wine and pasta are their crazy little terrors.
Does anyone have a hard-and-fast rule for this? Perhaps the safe bet is this: If you require a service from said person — the swine flu vaccine, a clean look in a bathing suit, a child’s literacy– then she’s off-limits.
But then again, some of the most fascinating relationships are those with people we weren’t “supposed to” be involved with in the first place. Like Angela and Rayanne. Or Tarra and Bella. Or even Edward and Bella, if we’re going to go there.
For the time being, I’m keeping Lagena on the “not now but maybe when things get desperate” list. But if things get desperate before bathing suit season is behind me? I’ll deal with that later.