And So It Begins…

I am a Married White Female searching for a Best Friend Forever.

I already have two lifelong BFFs, Sara and Callie, who I met when I was 10 and 14, at camp and high school respectively. I have seven best friends from college, who I lived with in various combinations from sophomore until senior year.  I have dear friends from high school whose weddings I would never miss and babies (well, so far there’s only one baby) I’m dying to meet. This is all to say, I have no shortage of shoulders to cry on. Here’s the catch though: I live in Chicago.  Sara and Callie live in New York City. My Northwestern roommates live in Boston, San Francisco, New York, and St. Louis. The high schoolers are in D.C. and (you guessed it), Manhattan. Basically, my closest friends are everywhere but here.

I moved to Chicago with my now-husband after we both decided a long-distance relationship (he was at law school in Philly, I was working in New York) just wouldn’t do. We’ve been here for nearly three years and in that time have made a few friends. Primarily couples, with whom we catch up over dinner or at mutual acquaintance’s birthday party. I’ve befriended some women—female halves of couples, co-workers—and grown closer to some fellow Northwestern grads who I was merely friendly with at school. But on a Sunday morning when I want to grab an omelette over girl talk, I’m at a loss. My Chicago friends are the let’s-get-dinner-on-the-books-a-month-in-advance type. We email, trading dates until we find an open calendar slot amidst our tight schedules of workout classes, volunteer obligations (no false pretenses here, the volunteers are my friends, not me, sadly), work events, concert tickets and other dinners scheduled with other girls. I’m looking for someone to invite to watch The Biggest Loser with me at the last minute or to text “pedicure in half an hour?” on a Saturday morning. To me, that’s what BFFs are. They’re not just those who know your innermost secrets but they’re the ones up for grabbing a bite on a whim because they love being with you just that much, and getting together feels easy and natural rather than a chore you need to pencil in.

So I’m on the hunt for Miss Right. A person who can fill the one void in the otherwise pretty great life I’ve set up in the Windy City. I always thought friendships blossom naturally, like they did at summer camp and in school. In the post-college world, though, I’ve learned this isn’t the case. So I’m taking matters in my own hands.

This blog will chronicle my quest.


Filed under The Search

8 responses to “And So It Begins…

  1. Christa

    I hopped over from Lindsey’s blog – great to see you doing this. And how very funny that you landed in Chicago a year before I moved from Chicago to DC! And I thought people here booked get togethers out in advance!

    If you need restaurant recommendations or that sort of thing, let me know. I’ll keep reading and see if I have BFF worthy folks to put you in touch with!

    Carry on…

  2. Laia

    I just came across your blog from and its a refreshing read. Nobody tells you how hard it is to make lifelong friends once college is over. Changes in life and moves to other cities definitely makes it hard. I have also had the same thing happen to me.. once college was over everyone moved to different cities. I love the optimism that you have and will keep reading 😉

  3. Hi Rachel! Shasta linked you in her blog – what a cool idea to write about this process! Even if your friends live in the same city as you, the friends that you don’t have to plan things far in advance with are kind of hard to come by. I’ve found that the older I get, it’s harder to find people who can get together with not a lot of notice, so I do end up having to do back-and-forth emailing to confirm something a week or two in advance.

    I wish more people talked/wrote about this when I was new to Chicago and struggling to meet people. I’m eager to read your experiences because I’ve definitely been there!

  4. Pingback: Make Two Friends and Call Me In the Morning « MWF Seeking BFF

  5. Laura

    I just found your blog and I have to say I LOVE your concept. When I moved to Chicago 8 years ago, I struggled for years trying to find BFF-worthy friends. Did some odd friend-dates, found a book club, left book club, created my own book club and three years later, I have some great friends! I wish I’d have thought to chronicle my hunt back then! I can’t wait to read your journey.

  6. Pingback: Redefining BFF « MWF Seeking BFF

  7. Pingback: BFF Searching: Phase Two | MWF Seeking BFF

  8. Pingback: One Year Later… | MWF Seeking BFF

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s