I’m Rachel Bertsche, an author and journalist, and now blogger, living in Chicago. Before moving to the Midwest, I worked at O, The Oprah Magazine for a little less than three years . In addition to O, I’ve written for publications including Marie Claire, Every Day with Rachael Ray, Teen Vogue, Fitness, More, Women’s Health, Paper, Vulture.com, Huffington Post, Chicago Magazine, Ocean Drive and Field and Stream. (Me! Field and Stream! The one about fishing and hunting. So weird, right?) My interview with Katey Sagal, aka Peg Bundy, reached #1 on CNN.com’s list of most-viewed stories of the day. (I had no idea how passionate people are about Peg. And Sons of Anarchy.) My Q&A with Vince Vaughn also reached the top 10. (This was less surprising.) I’ve written about everything from porn films to shark skin, and love diving into new subjects. Being a self-proclaimed pop culturist, I especially love writing entertainment stories. I’ve interviewed a wide range of politicians and celebrities, a Nobel Peace Prize winner and plenty of Oscar winners, including Al Gore, Yoko Ono, Hilary Swank, Tilda Swinton, Queen Latifah, James Cameron, Stephenie Meyer, Taylor Swift, Zac Efron and Emma Thompson. I graduated from the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University, where I was the student newspaper’s resident sex columnist. (My piece on vibrators made it onto Howard Stern. True story.)
The book about the very search I write about on this blog is available now.
For more info about me, or to see clips of my writing, check out my official website.
Also, I love hearing from you! Contact me anytime.
Just wanted to let you know that tomorrow I am hosting a book club with people I have no idea of! Hoping for someone to be a potential BFF! Love your blog…and sometime in 2012 if this club goes well I will for sure suggest your book!
Thanks Samantha! Good luck with book club. I’ve found that book clubs are one of the best places to make new, good friends. If you’re only meeting once a month it can take some time for those independent friendships to form, but it will happen. (I joined a book club almost a year ago and it took me 6 months to feel like the people were my actual friends… but now I adore them.) Have fun!
It is so funny that found your site! I moved to the chicago burbs a year ago and i keep telling my husband i need girlfriends!!! I need pedi dates, venting dates!
One morning while standing at my starbucks in downtown chicago waiting for my coffee I read a column on the red eye about the same subject. I think you may have written it, not sure. Then, yesterday I read your article that brought me here. I showed it to my husband and he said apparenty it is not so easy making friends!
It is nice to know I am not the only one in the same situation!
Good luck!!!
Have you thought of trying http://www.girlfriendcircles.com ? It’s a way to meet & make new friends it might help with ur search. I haven’t tried it but it looks promising. Good luck in your journey!
Hi Rachel,
Just stumbled onto your blog and really enjoy it! I too am looking for a BFF. My childhood and college roommate lives in FL, I live in CA. We IM every morning but it isn’t the same. And yes, we all need someone we can call or text for the lunch, pedicure, shoulder to lean on within “the next half hour”. I moved to LA 5 years ago and have found this to be one of the hardest places to meet people. It’s a lot of work! But I will persevere…I know my BFF soulmate is out there!
Lisa
Hey, hey, hey!
I just read your blog ‘New In Town, No Pals’ – haha, I LOVED it! It really made me laugh and throughout it I was like ‘OMG, yes, YES that is how I feel!’ thank you so so much for posting this! I have had so many conversations with my friends back home about this! I’m fun, granted – a bit quirky, a great friend, not unattractive or unfortunately dressed – WHY is it so hard to make friends in a new city!? I have abused my accent as a conversation starter to no avail! GONE are the days when you just had to make a bracelet and give it to someone! I have contemplated taking a walk over to Michael’s and buying the materials to try this out – it’s ridiculous! You are sooo right, it is like dating for friends – I have described it as this to my friends back home, I love that you wrote that! It’s EXHAUSTING!!! The other day I actually joined OkCupid and searched for girls hahaha – that is what i’ve been reduced to (never heard of the sites you mentioned, will check them out!). I moved to Chicago in August from Scotland. E-mail me and let me know if you want to grab a coffee or something, I think we’d really get along. Diane ps there may be a Michael’s bracelet in it for you LOL
Dear Rachel:
Thank you for taking friendships so seriously (and thank you, of course, for talking about my book in your blog). The problem really is that we, as a culture (American), don’t take friendships very seriously after college graduation so then it becomes harder to find people who actually do like you and me and others on this site. My research is on boys’ friendships but I have also been listening to girls for decades as well and they also reveal an intense desire for the type of friendships in which you can share all your secrets. So what don’t we value these relationships when we become adults? thanks again for your blog. niobe
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So did you find her??? I just pre-ordered my book on my Kindle…in Cambodia! It is my selection for the book club I founded in June of this year. I am excited to read the book and talk about it…it is SO true that making friends as an adult is very difficult…I’ve always maintained that it is worse than dating!…oh, the awkward first home visit…what to say, where to sit, when to leave, don’t leave to early, don’t overstay your welcome, when to invite to your house…aaaccckkkk!!!! Looking forward to reading about your quest! Cheers to you and happy holidays!
Rachel,
I’m a Chicago native now living in Denver with my husband. Not only do I miss that amazing city, but all of my long time good BFFS are there still….as well as my twin sister! I’m 1/2 through your book and can’t wait to see your final conclusion… was it a mistake to move? Have you been able to find happiness in your “friend” life in Chciago? Asking becuase I hope I do in Denver…otherwise I’m moving back
i started a book club today…. we are reading your book first! (-;
This is exactly the situation I’ve found myself in this year. I moved to Boston FROM Chicago (I miss it!) and am determined to meet my new BFF while wading through all the awkward moments. A friend from home recommended your book to me this morning as a motivator. Can’t wait to pick it up and be enlightened by your research!
Hi there! I just did a reading in Boston so I know there are some girls there just waiting to find their new BFF. I know you’ll find them… good luck, and thanks for reading!
Hi Rachel,
I loved your book! Sad that I missed your signing in Highland Park. I too am a fellow New Yorker, Jewish, and went to Northwestern (but graduated way before you!). My husband and I met at NU the first month of school, got married shortly after graduation, and decided to stay in Chicago leaving my NY BFFs behind. I sure could of used your book when we made the move from Chicago to the suburbs – it was so hard! Now that I have kids, it is much easier to meet friends. But, I am still always on the lookout and your book was filled with great advice. It actually encouraged me to reach out to someone I met a few months ago. We are going out next week! Anyway, will you be doing anymore appearances in Chicago? Thanks and good luck with the book!
I just finished your book and want to thank you for inspiring me to be more assertive in trying to make new, local friends! I moved a couple years ago and haven’t made any real connections here. I asked around about local book clubs (via a message on my community’s facebook page) and now I have about 20 girls who are interested in starting one with me! I’m really excited about new friend prospects. Thank you!!
Rachel,
I too just finished your book and loved it! What a relief to find that there are so many of us looking for friends…nice to know I’m not a loner. If I lived in Chicago I would totally hook up with you! But I’m in Minneapolis and am now inspired to go searching! Thanks for giving us potential BFF’s a boost!
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Just a shout out to all of you who mentioned something about feeling like you’re the only one going through desiring more friends and/or deeper friendships — after seven years of self-employment of video production and teaching with a smidge of event-offerings, I recently made the leap to completely leave behind video and teaching due to the events taking off in such a ridiculous fashion. Due to SO MANY people expressing a desire to make authentic connections in fun, comfortable yet challenging, and unique ways, that’s now my sole focus. Connecting folk. Providing vehicles to create relationships. So, you’re not alone! It can be tough as an adult to make friends, find folk to date, network professionally in a way that’s actually beneficial and not just about shaking hands and giving out business cards… I found personally that doing things a) solo and b) that scare me has led to many wonderful relationships, and have thus adopted that thinking into my event offerings — you often HAVE to come by yourself, or be scared to participate. Good luck out there! And remember, you’re not alone.
Hi,
I just finished reading your book after hearing about it in a magazine. While friend hunting is not on my to do list I still learned a great deal from your book and feel truly inspired to make a greater effort with all of my friends. Your book has changed the way I view and value friendship and I thank you. I have recently begun blogging and mentioned your book in my latest post. If you are interested check it out: innercityexplorer@blogspot.com
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I am very proud to find your book featured in the Jan. 19 – Feb. 1 edition of the Evant Star – the Evant, TX (pop. 369!) local newspaper. I have been following you (not literally) almost since the beginning of your blog and it’s fun to see you have really hit the Big Time in one of our neighboring towns! Keep up the good work,
T
Hi Rachel,
I just finished your book – read it cover to cover in 24 hours. LOVED it. Makes me appreciate my two “lifer” BFFs, as well as the girls from my book club, my “power walking buddies”, my “meet for dinner once a month friends” and so on. I hadn’t realized how I had different friend “niches” until I read your book. My BFF just called and asked if I could please pick her daughter up from daycare Thursday night – and, as you mentioned in the book, like a real BFF, there was no “I have a HUGE favor to ask”, or “I owe you!” or any other dramatic declarations. I said “sure”, and didn’t think twice. Picking up kids from time-to-time is part of the job description. Just like she and her husband keep gluten free pasta at their house so I can still eat spaghetti at our Monday night Bachelor viewings, per our long-standing tradition.Anyway, your book made me appreciate my friends even more. Still mulling over whether or not my fiance is my BFF…
LOVED THE BOOK!