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When Rachel Bertsche first moves to Chicago, she’s thrilled to finally share a zip code, let alone an apartment, with her boyfriend. But shortly after getting married, Bertsche realizes her new life is missing one thing: friends. Sure, she has plenty of BFFs—in New York and San Francisco and Boston and Washington DC. Yet in her adopted hometown, there’s no one to call at the last minute for girl-talk over brunch or a reality TV marathon over a bottle of wine. Taking matters into her own hands, Bertsche develops a plan: she’ll go on fifty-two friend-dates, one per week for a year, in hopes of meeting her new Best Friend Forever.
In her thought-provoking, uproarious memoir, Bertsche blends the story of her girl-dates (who she meets everywhere from improv class to friend-rental websites) with the latest in social research to examine how difficult—and hilariously awkward—it is to make new friends as an adult. She asks why women will happily announce they need a man but are embarrassed to admit they need a BFF. And she uncovers the reality that no matter how great your love life, you’ve gotta have friends.
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WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
“Friendship is one of the most important elements of a happy life—but it can be tough to make new friends. In MWF Seeking BFF, Rachel Bertsche weaves together her engaging and often hilarious adventures in search of a new best friend with the latest research about the science of friendship. I couldn’t put it down.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project
“Reading about Rachel Bertsche’s search for that special someone, you’ll find yourself thinking about all the friends you’ve ever had—and the ones you hope are right around the corner. Rachel writes with engaging humor and a measure of poignancy, too. You’ll enjoy joining her on her journey.” —Jeffrey Zaslow, author of The Girls from Ames
“Rachel Bertsche’s yearlong diary of searching for best friendship in a new city is compulsively readable and will plant a smile on your face as you turn the pages. Funny, forthright, and honest as a midnight phone call, Bertsche’s zesty hosanna to female bonding defines what it is to be a double-X Millennial.” —Sheila Weller, author of Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell and Carly Simon—and the Journey of a Generation
“I guess you could say Rachel had me at ‘Hello’ — I found myself totally invested in her honest, earnest, oftentimes hilarious quest for meaningful female friendship. Whether you’re actively seeking a ‘BFF’ yourself or simply recognize the value in making quality connections with other women, MWF Seeking BFF underscores the profound rewards we women stand to reap when we simply open up, reach out to one another, and go for it. A smart, fun, and inspiring page turner that will surely resonate.”—Kelly Valen, author of The Twisted Sisterhood
“MWF Seeking BFF is funny, charming, and so relatable. Throughout Rachel’s journey to develop more meaningful, enduring relationships with other women, I found myself wishing she had my number.”—Robyn Okrant, author of Living Oprah
“Genuine, funny and thoroughly inspiring, MWF Seeking BFF is a tribute to female friendships and a must-read for anyone who has ever found herself sunk into her couch and scrolling through the phone list feeling like there’s no one to call for a last-minute drink or Sunday brunch.” —Rachel Machacek, author of The Science of Single
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LOVE IT! Can’t wait til January to read it!!
Congrats on the book deal! That is amazing. Looking forward to hearing more about it and of course, reading the book.
Here via Allison Winn Scotch’s website. (Saw your comment on her post today, and loved the title of your book/blog!) Despite having great friends from home, it took me years to find “BFFs” after I graduated college and moved to a new city. I think your story is neither embarrassing nor unusual — in fact, I think it’s a common modern-day issue and I’m glad you’ve written about it!
I didn’t realize you had a book deal! Can’t wait to buy it!
Well done girl! I most certainly can’t wait to get a copy. Pre-order is on the way
. BRAVA!
Ordered all the way to Scotland! I’ve been reading your blog for nearly a year so I honestly cannot wait for the book.
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I just received my copy in today’s mail
Not going to lie, it’s tempting to call out of work today… remind me that I have the next two days off to enjoy it!
You look good in print, Rachel!
Yay! I hope you enjoy it Leigh. The good human part of me says you must go to work– you have the next two days off. The devil part says, “what’s one more day?”
Thanks again Leigh! Happy reading!
Pity there isn’t an ebook version.. (yet?)
Hi there!
There are, in fact, ebook versions available too. You can find them here:
Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/MWF-Seeking-BFF-Yearlong-ebook/dp/B004W3IDM8
Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mwf-seeking-bff-rachel-bertsche/1100643305
Sony Ereader: http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/rachel-bertsche/mwf-seeking-bff/_/R-400000000000000545506
Kobo: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/MWF-Seeking-BFF-My-Yearlong/book-KASDM2EcLEWlHWfqbSU-tw/page1.html
Thanks for your interest!
Hi, Rachel! I just finished your book and loved it! It was really great how you mixed in all of the scientific research with the whole journey. One of the things I found most interesting was the 150 number. Well while yours was 20/150 spots to fill, when I made my list after starting your book I ended up with about 130/150 spots to fill. Of the almost 20 friends(it’s 19, but I rounded up) 3 are girls I’d consider close to lifers, but one lives out of state and the 2 others I rarely speak to or meet up with. 1 is a guy I’ve known for years online, but not in person (I moved out of state so we’ll probably never meet; does that even count?), again rarely talk. 1 I’ve spoken to on the phone once, she needed a favor. She invited me to a short-lived adoption book club, where I met another 1, but we’ve only exchanged a few emails months ago. With the others all but one are people my husband introduced me to through his work. I love the idea of your friend quest, but I think I sound similar to your more reserved self as you started your journey. Also, I would have probably had an easier time a few years ago when I just moved here because now I have a little one. I couldn’t imagine you attempting all of those friend-dates with an almost 2 year old little girl in tow. I’m not a Mommy&Me girl so I’d love some advice, if you’ve got any. I’ll definitely work on the being more aware when I’m out and trying to talk to people, but I just never seem to find the open people I’m looking for. Thanks for reading my message and for writing your wonderful book! I’m glad you’re getting to pursue your passion!
Hi Linda,
Thanks so much for reading MWF Seeking BFF. I’m so glad you liked it! It’s so interesting to make our own Dunbar lists, I think. Really opens our eyes to our own situations.
You’re right, I’ve heard (though I don’t know from experience) that having a little one adds a new wrinkle to the friend-making quest. And you’re probably right that I couldn’t have pulled it off if I had a two year old. I certainly have heard that classes for the little ones are a great way to meet other mothers and make friends. Another option, though, is to dedicate just one night a month, or even every two weeks if you can swing it, to yourself. Maybe you can sign up for a book club on meetup.com, or some other group that would be interesting to you. Starting somewhere where people have similar interests makes a difference, and having set meeting dates takes a little of the work out of it and the reponsibility off you…
As you say, another thing is just having your eyes and ears open. It’s so easy to get caught up in our own thing when we’re out and about, going about our business. Tuning into the other people around us who might be open to friendship is tough but important. If you keep at it, I think you’ll be surprised to find that a lot of people will be thrilled to be approached. Who doesn’t like hearing from others that we seem like a nice, friendable person?
Good luck, and keep us posted! Rachel
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I just ordered your book-ever since my bff decided to abandon me and move to Europe, I must admit, I’ve felt a bit lonely. Been thinking lately that I need to make more “good” friends-this book sounds like a great start. So excited to read it!
Thanks Elsie! I hope you enjoy it!
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Hey Rachel- happy to see your book is doing so well! It’s crazy that we sat at Nookie’s discussing your bff search after dance class many many months ago- and now that I just moved to a new city, people keep telling me to read your book to get ideas! Excited to pick it up.
-Felicia (that girl who worked with Rema
)
Thanks Felicia! So great to hear from you!
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