I was incredibly honored to be featured last week on the official WordPress blog, where I was asked to provide some tips for building a blog following. It was funny to see my face on a post like that, since I’m still learning so much about the blog world and how to conquer it. I constantly look to stars like Gretchen Rubin and Neil Pasricha for inspiration.
Since the post was published, a number of new readers have made their way over to this corner of the webs (thank you! and welcome!) and one recurring question that has come up is: “Isn’t your husband your best friend forever?”
The short answer? No. As I’ve wrote at the beginning of this blog, I don’t think a spouse should be a BFF. Or, you can’t complain to your husband about your husband (well, you can, but it does nothing good for the relationship.)
Let me clarify that I adore my husband. He’s the cream of the crop. He’s my most intimate companion and he makes me laugh and takes care of me and challenges me and will be with me for life. But if you try to get all your needs from one person, you may be dissapointed. And you’re probably putting too big a strain on your marriage.
That said, research says the most successful marriages are relationships that have strong friendships. I believe that. Matt and I enjoy each other’s company. We can sit and chat over dinner, making jokes that only we understand or discussing current events or our work days or whatever. A relationship that’s all passion and lovey-doveyness all the time probably can’t last either. You need a foundation to get through the hard parts.
It’s a delicate and tough balance. Which is probably why marriage is hard and some don’t work out. You have to be friends. You have to respect each other and get along. Wanting to jump each other all the time or exclusively calling each other “honey-poo” in public isn’t enough. But you also need to have other people. You can’t say “I don’t need friends because my husband is my best friend.”
Big mistake. Huge.
What do you think? Can your husband be your BFF?