On Wednesday, Ladies Home Journal posted a really nice blog post about the best ways to meet new friends. Yesterday, the magazine put the post on their Facebook page, and I was immediately taken aback by the comments in response.
For example: “No new gf’s they cause too much drama!” and “No thanks, I’d rather hang with the guys. Much less drama!” and “Acquaintances are the best, otherwise too much drama and cattiness.”
Those were the first three responses. Drama, drama, drama. (I once had a roommate who said, all the time, “Drama, drama, drama. Just call me Felicity.” It’s so dated, but I love it.)
I don’t buy the whole “I hate being friends with girls” thing. There are just so many women who use that line, which always makes me think, “why don’t you all become friends with each other?”
I don’t particularly enjoy drama, either. Very few of us do. It’s no fun to deal with jealousies and backstabbing and catfights. But how often does that actually happen, really? I mean, outside of Real Housewives? I’ve made a good number of new friends in the last two years, and I have had “drama” as a result exactly… never.
Since starting my new friends search: No one has tried to steal my husband. I’ve never had one new friend talk trash about me to another new friend, only to have the other friend tell me every horrible thing she said. No new friend has ever called me in tears to tell me that she hates me.
Sure, when I was in college there were, sometimes, conflicts between my friends. There were also conflicts between my guy friends. We all lived together, so that’s pretty much guaranteed.
And sometimes there is friction in adult friendship. That’s the reality of relationships. But these across the board “I won’t be friends with women because they’re bitches” proclamations are a bit, well, dramatic, no?
Listen, I love guy friends. The ones I have are wonderful. And I’m not here to push girlfriendship. Just friendship. Forge your bonds with whoever you like. But the blanket statement that some women just cannot be friends with other women because we are too difficult and dramatic and catty isn’t sound.
After all, to those ladies who say being friends with women is the worst: You’re a woman, right? There have got to be other women out there who share your values and want what you want out of a friend. To dismiss an entire half of the population—the half that you are a part of—seems rash. Because, I hope, other ladies out there aren’t discounting you, too, on account of your simply being female. ‘Cause that wouldn’t be fair, would it?
What do you think? Is female friendship too much drama? What’s your reaction to women who say they can’t be friends with other women? Is female friendship really that dramatic?