Yesterday I put out a call for your nominations to the BFF Bill of Rights, inspired by a chapter in Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). Some of Kaling’s “best friend rights and responsibilities” are: “I Must Be 100% Honest About How You Look, But Gentle,” “I Will Take Care of Your Kid If You Die,” and “We Will Trade Off Being Social Chair For Our Outings” (here’s my take on friendship social chairs).
I’m sort of obsessed with this concept. Plenty of people consider best friendship like porn: You know it when you see it. But Kaling’s chapter lays out the BFF requirements in a more tangible, what-do-we-expect-of-each-other sense.
Yesterday, I added my own additions to her list. Things like “When you are wasted, I’ll make sure you get home safely” and “I will be at your wedding. I will be excited about it. And if I’m not, you will never know.”
As usual, I asked for your input, and collected some goodies. And now? Now I want more! I am loving this list! The “rights and responsibilities” are so spot on. And I’ve been thinking of more all day. Like:
- I will always tell you when something is in your teeth.
- While you’re single, I will never hold “couples only” dinner parties.
- On the morning after you get really drunk and make an ass of yourself, when you ask me “Did I make an ass of myself?” I will say “No! Of course not!”
- If I meet anyone in your line of work, anyone who knows you in a work capacity, or anyone who should know you in a work capacity and could perhaps help your career in any way, I will rave unconditionally about your brilliance.
And here are some gems that came from readers:
- When we’re at a soiree and someone has the identical outfit as you, I will tell you that you look hotter in it than she does (even if it may not be true.)
- If you’re in J. Crew but forgot your wallet and see something you can wear for a 1st date, I will use my sacred J. Crew reward points plus card because I got you.
- I will love/hate your family with you. Your mom’s being a bitch? Yes, I totally agree. Your mom is the most thoughtful human being on the planet? Of course she is, that’s why I love her!
- I will watch your kids for you whenever I can just like I know you’ll watch mine for me. I will also treat them as if they’re my own–loving them unconditionally and screaming at them for tracking in mud on the carpet.
- I will pick you up from a boy’s house when you realize you don’t want to be there any longer – no matter what the reasoning is or how late it is.
- If you move to a new city and get homesick, I will fly in for a visit, even if it means maxing out my credit card and flying all by myself.
How great are these? We are in the business of defining friendship here people! Check out Mindy Kaling’s excerpt (the BFF section is on page 15) and add your own rules below. You’ve got a whole long weekend to think about it.
Happy Memorial Day folks!