One of the quickest ways to develop a potential BFFship? The next morning recap call.
There are few phone calls more fun and BFF-like than the day-after debriefing that follows an unexpected action-packed evening.
On Saturday night, Matt and I had some friends over to our apartment. The evening ran later than we had anticipated, and the next morning I smiled as my phone rang and the name of one of our guests popped up on my caller ID. I knew she was just calling to discuss the evening, to analyze different interactions, and to commiserate over our shared states of exhaustion. And I loved it.
This wasn’t a phone call to make plans or to ask any specific question. It was just a “how silly was last night? let’s go over what happened” chat. And I must admit, it felt like old times. These are the phone calls that kept me entertained most Sunday mornings when I lived in New York City. Like I mentioned last week, phone calls about nothing can oftentimes feel like the most meaningful. It’s that brief exchange–”I feel like poo, I’m ordering Thai food,” “Oh, good call, I’m not getting out of bed today”–that makes you think Wow, these are real friends.
In fact, about a year ago a reader left this very sentiment in the comments section of this blog: “There is nothing better to take things to the next level with a PBFF than a Sunday morning re-hash phone call about all the crazy things that happened the night before and/or calling to see if she’s alive.” In this case, said re-hash followed an alcohol-fueled evening, but the drinking part is optional, of course.
Inviting a handful of my new friends to meet and mingle really made me feel like this year has been a success. The thing about being on a friend search is that you end up meeting a lot of different people who don’t know each other. It’s not like high school, when you develop a group of pals. This year I’ve made a ton of independent friendships, and I was so thrilled to finally introduce some of the new ladies in my life. There was a lot of “X meet Y, she is from Boston and works at Chicago Public Schools. Y, meet X, she is a fellow Red Sox fan and a lawyer downtown. Discuss.” I’m not going to lie, it felt a bit like sorority rush. (So embarrassed that I just actually said that but I speak the truth.)
This BFF search has become such a regular part of my life that I don’t always see the progress. It’s like when you lose weight, the people who see you everyday don’t necessarily notice, but those you encounter only once a month are in awe. That’s just how I felt this weekend, when suddenly a number of my friends were in the same place and it hit me–it’s working! New friends, Sunday morning recap phone calls… Folks, we have lift-off.
What’s your surefire sign that a friendship is taking off? A phone call, a shared secret? We all ascribe meaning to different actions… share your this-is-it moments!